The Official WordPress Blog Of Edward Hotspur – whoever that is.
I wonder why they make cereals that have one great thing and tons of bland things. Like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms, or the Crunch Berries in Cap’n Crunch. Don’t they realize that the kids won’t eat the base cereal, just the special cereal, and the parents will have to eat all the base cereal themselves and buy more cereal…. Oh.
When someone who has grown up with automatic doors walks up to a door in an older building and runs right into it, smacking their face on the glass, I always wonder if I should call an ambulance in case I can’t breathe from laughing too hard. But at the same time, when they spend 10 minutes trying to push a door open that is clearly marked ‘push’, I wonder how long it will be before they at least try to pull it, and how long it will be before the ‘push’ sign I put on the door falls off.
I wonder, when someone suddenly cuts across 4 lanes of traffic on the highway and gets off at the next exit, if they have just urinated on themselves, or if they are horrible drivers. I suppose there’s always the possibility that they have really bad alignment. Like Chaotic Evil. But I can’t believe they’d be playing Dungeons and Dragons while they drive. I mean, they don’t have cars in D&D, according to people I know who haven’t been laid yet.
I always wonder if the people who read my blog are driven insane after reading it, or if they read it because they are insane. I realize that people who read my blog are the coolest people in the world, but it doesn’t mean they aren’t insane, right? I wonder the same thing about the highly trained monkeys who read my blog. Do they read it because they are insane? Or do they just read it because they know it’s written by highly trained monkeys?
I wonder if guys who see a woman eating a banana always think of sex. When I see someone eating a banana, I always think of monkeys. Hmm…Now I’m wondering if some people who see a woman eating a banana think of sex with monkeys. And is that where the phrase ‘hot monkey love’ came from? I guess the ‘hot’ would be from eating Bananas Foster? I don’t know. I’ve always wondered.
I’m wondering if I should just end this now. If I do, I’ll let you know. If I don’t, your alien overlords will probe you into staying here and reading it until it’s done. Oh yeah – that’s why aliens come here and probe you. In case you were wondering.
…I know, right?