Tag Archives for Musings

It’s All About (You)

Hastywords, the inventor of this thing

I borrowed this idea from Hastywords, who insisted that a blog post be all about HER for a change (but it really isn’t!). She doesn’t know it, but she created a format, and I’m following it. I’ll summarize, and then fill it out.

1) I think ______ is charming.
2) If I had to pick my own prison, it would be _______
3) I love (type of entertainment)
4) I am a sucker for _________
5) I love (type of person? She just put ‘people’ versus ‘animals’)
6) I am (favorable character trait)
7) I love (some personal action – she put ‘laughter’)
8) I love (activity – she put ‘to cook’)

I think being vulnerable is charming. – When someone has a few vulnerable moments, they are demonstrating to me that they don’t think they are perfect, don’t play everything close to the vest, and that I can let my guard down (or lower, anyway) near them. Me relaxed – me happy.

If I had to pick my own prison it would be a music store. – I value music above all else (things, not people), and so that is where I would want to be kept.

I love twilight. – Twilight, dusk, sunset, these are all names for the same thing – my favorite time of day. It’s the time when work stops and fun, relaxation, family begins. It’s the time of anticipation before something good happens.

I am a sucker for children’s laughter. -  That is my favorite sound of all time, and any time I can hear it, I stop and listen. And if I can cause it, I do.

I love friendly people. – A friend of mine long ago once said “Friendly people are the coolest people in the world.” Not to get all mystical and shit, but he said it out of nowhere, after I hadn’t seen him for a month, first and only thing he said to me that entire night, in the middle of a club, while loud music was playing. And a couple of years later, he was dead of a heroin overdose.

I am sane. – I have to be sane, but I was sane long before I had to be. I don’t like being out of control, except in controlled ways. That gives me willpower, and is how long ago I quit smoking forever, and how I cut wayyyyyyy back on my drinking. And it’s how I’m keeping my calories down now.

I love singing. – I love when people sing, especially around me, especially TO me.

I love to cook. – Yeah, I love to cook too. But in a house where everyone likes something different, that often involves letting them starve. Just kidding! It does mean making two meals, or two versions of the same meal.

Hastywords said “Take a few moments and do a self inventory.  Who are you?  What do you believe?  How do you want those beliefs to play out in your life?  Take time every now and then to make it ALL ABOUT YOU!” So go do it. Now! You go now!

Edward Hotspur

Dog Whistle

My life is like a dog whistle. No one can hear what I’m saying.

Several times in the past week, I have asked questions or said things, and the responses had little or nothing to do with what I asked/said.  I don’t have a lot of examples, really, but it just seems like everyone is in their own little worlds, hearing what they want to hear, saying what they want to say, as though everyone is just performing a bunch of short monologues. Another thing I’ve noticed is the short attention span some people have.

/end post

No, seriously, someone who shall go unnamed once said she was going to the store, and then when I said ‘when you go there, can you get me some mouthwash?” she said “Go where?” And certain people can walk into a messy room and hyperfocus on one thing, completely ignoring all the other things in the room, and completely ignoring the fact that if you pick up something off the floor, but don’t clean up the counter, hey, some more shit is going to fall on the floor very soon! Which you will have to clean up! Multiple times!

I asked a certain other person where SHE was going, and she said “I’m taking your car.” I don’t know what question that was supposed to answer, but not the one I asked. I asked a certain person what kind of noodles she wanted me to put in the boiling water, and she said “Gumbo.” I am no Italian pasta making expert, which I believe is called a “noodlinier”, but I’m pretty sure there is no such noodle as ‘gumbo’. And a certain other person said he wanted dinner when I asked him what he wanted for dinner. A different person didn’t get that it was of no benefit to me that she put $12 of gas in my car if she then drove to Cincinnati and back.

It’s like my voice is incapable of being heard by these people! As though it was too sensibly-pitched for them to comprehend. The normal questions and statements are outside their range. Perhaps I should speak in a more psycho tone of voice?

Edward Hotspur

Man Has Threesome With Fate!

“When were you going to tell me?” She looked as angry as a beaver with a splinter.
“When you went to the store. I was going to ask you for milk, and then I was going to tell you.” He looked as nervous as a deer at a NRA meeting in Texas.
“I wasn’t going to the grocery store. I was going shopping for a couch.” She missed the subject like Everything But The Girl misses the rain.
“Whew, I’m glad you changed the subject so I don’t have to tell you anything.” He looked as confused as a sideways moth with a razor pistol.
“You said that out loud, you moron! I remembered, and I want you to answer the question.” She looked as satisfied as the opposite of a Rolling Stone.
“Um, well… wait, I did answer the question. Remember, you asked me when I was going to tell you, and I said ‘when you went to the store’?” He looked as smug as some type of insect in a flat textile floor covering.
“You’re twisting my words! You know what I meant!” She looked as beaten as two eggs who play for the Detroit Lions.
“I’m not twisting, but you’re shouting.” He felt as proud as someone who had beaten up one of those honor students whose parents had one of those ‘My Kid Is An Honor Student’ bumper stickers on their minivan.
“Okay, fine. What were you going to tell me?” She had recovered quicker than an actress who had appeared in a porno, and then released an album and a mainstream film, then got caught shoplifting, and then drove off a cliff but escaped with only minor injuries.
“Oh, that. It turns out, I’m having a girl with Sheila, and a boy with Meredith.” He looked as low as a woman with apple-bottom jeans and boots with the fur.
“So you have three women pregnant right now?” She looked with her eyeballs, you know, so she could see stuff.
“Three? You mean… Awww, Judy. I can’t wait to share our lives together with our baby.” He looked as happy as a guy who was pretending to have escaped a horrible fate, much less three of them.
“Yeah, me either.” She was as sincere as I am right now when I tell you that on a scale of 1 to really sincere, she was really sincere.
“So what are we going to do about the other ones. You know, cause I’ll be having three babies at once, and all three of you are in love with me, so I was thinking of having the other two over for a talk, and possibly popping the question to all of you. What do you think?” He was as ballsy as a man who had Pamela Anderson’s fake boobs removed and placed in his scrotum, and then inflated to obscenely huge proportions.
“Awww, yes! Yes!”
“Yes! Me too! Yes!”
Judy was as surprised as someone who had just found out that the other two women her boyfriend had impregnated were on a teleconference the entire time they had been talking just now about getting married.
“We’re going to be so happy with that new couch! You’ll see.” She dodged the subject like a really nerdy but really fast sixth grader in gym class dodged the dodge ball when they were playing dodge ball in gym class.
“…” He was as speechless as

Edward Hotspur

(More surrealism! Apoocalypse!)

Books I Have Written

Hooray! I’ve got two new books out! I now have three books. To be fair, the third book is a compilation of the first two books. They’re all comprised of the essays commonly known as Scenes From A Morning Drive:

Scenes From A Morning Drive
More Scenes From A Morning Drive
Scenes From A Hundred Morning Drives

Now, of course, there are more than a hundred essays, but to be totally honest, the only word in any of the three titles that is 100% true is ‘A’. Hell, even the covers are misleading, because they’re all pictures of sunsets! These are the covers. I took the pictures for them and edited them to this.
           

Thank you all for reading these essays, and commenting, and following me. I appreciate it bigly.

Edward Hotspur

Hotspur Throughout History

There are many mentions of Hotspur all over the place – some of them over 100 years old! Just like me! The dictionary definition of Hotspur (the Dictionary.com and other definitions) is:
hot·spur  [hot-spur] Show IPA
noun
an impetuous or reckless person; a hothead.
: a rash hotheaded impetuous man

And that is exactly like I’m not. I’m a sweetheart! Ha ha!

Originally, I liked the English Premier League, which is soccer, or football if you’re Eastern Hemisphere or Southern Hemisphere or Not Americanisphere. I liked some teams that won all the time, like Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, etc., but I liked rooting for some underdog teams like Bolton or…. Tottenham Hotspur. I liked that team, and how it sounded, and I thought that if I ever needed a pen name, I’d go with Edward Hotspur. Later, I discovered that “Hotspur” is a possible English translation of my actual last name! What luck! Just like Alexander Zivojinovich’s last name translates as “son of life”, so he used ‘Alex Lifeson’ as his stage name! And rocked out in Rush! As the guitarist! In case you didn’t know because you lived under a pop! Because if you lived under a rock, you would have heard of him and them!

But that’s not all. Apparently, some older dude named Sir Henry Percy was known as Harry Hotspur, which is where Tottenham got its name from. And in addition to the above, all these other things were named after his nickname (I got this from Wikipedia):

A character based on him in Shakespeare’s Henry IV, Part 1
The football club Holyhead Hotspur F.C.
The football club Pietà Hotspurs F.C.
General Aircraft Hotspur, a WW2 glider
British Railways class 7 “Britannia” locomotive 70011
HMS Hotspur, several British ships
British Army version of the Land Rover Tangi, an armoured Land Rover used in Northern Ireland
The Hotspur (comics), former British boys’ weekly comic and annual published by D. C. Thomson & Co.
Hotspur (Eclipse comic book), a three-issue comic book series
Hotspur Primary School, Newcastle upon Tyne
Hotspur, a Dachshund who was born with paralyzed hindlimbs in 1936.

After or besides Harry, there were lots of other mentions of Hotspur that may or may not be related to him:

They’re boots from Diablo 3.

In a Sherlock Holmes story The Adventure of the Gloria Scott (by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle), a rescue ship is called the Hotspur.

Larco Hospitality owns Hotspur Resorts.

There’s actually a band called Hotspur, out of Washington D.C. They’re sort of like a Fallout Boy/Panic At The Disco kind of thing. Here’s a couple of their songs:

And on a lighter and also more comfortable note, Hotspur Technologies is “a leading developer of catheter-based technologies aimed at restoring blood flow for patients with obstructed vessels.”

So that’s a little about Hotspur. Thank you for reading.

Edward Catheter