“Everything good that happened to me happened by accident. I was not filled with ambition nor fired by a drive toward a clear-cut goal. I never knew exactly where I was going.” – Jack Benny
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road will take you there.” – Lewis Carroll
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
Edward Hotspur is a world-famous author and witticist. The world just doesn’t know it yet. He is also a multiple-award-winning blogger! True. He loves sarcasm, cynicism, wittiness, one-liners, awful puns, music, cooking and left-handed salads. He adores referring to himself in the third person. He had no help whatsoever writing this ‘about’ section.
He used to try to follow this basic pattern:
- Weekly post about music
- Daily post about philosophy or random musings, 5 days a week
- Random erratic silly surreal crazy insane frequently humorous posts that make you question his sanity, or even if he’s human
- Other, because there’s always an other
Now, he will follow this one:
- At least one post a day, revolving door of subject matter, content, quality and candy. You’ll still question his sanity, though.
These will be punctuated with punctuation. They will also be punctuated with pictures of everyday things that no one would take pictures of for a blog, plus flowers that soften the rough edges of the barbs in certain rants and sarcastic comments.
Most of all, there will seem to be no rhyme or reason to his blog, but there is an underlying message/theme running through all of them: He is awesome. Or possibly insane, though the two are not mutually exclusive.
Finally, if you learn one thing from him, it’s that the key to success is to stand in the middle of a crowded room and scream these magic words 10 times: Alpha Kenny Body!
(Edward Hotspur is not responsible for anything that happens, no matter how awesome.)
For some funny or particularly good quotes from the readers in the blogosphere, check out the Quotes link on the menu bar at the top!
For more about this guy, go to where it all began, leave a comment and be a part of history!
For the most awesome article of clothing that will ever touch your body, gaze upon this wonder! And for a handy list of the ancient articles/posts on Mr. Hotspur’s blog, click on Hotspur Archives at the menu bar up there somewhere!
NEW: He’s got this book thingy now. If you’re curious, click the pic.
Hi Edward. I’m a new subscriber to your blog. Make Money Writing Pornos was my first read. I notice you write stories. And I don’t want to just start reading something in the middle. So, could you recommend where I should start? I plan on being an active member of your blog. Thanks in advance.
Thanks for subscribing, Har-new. Literarily and literally, none of my blog posts require reading another blog post (so far), except to the extent that you want to find out how eclectic my blog (and brain) is (are), and that once you read one, you can’t stop. The only thing I have that even remotely approaches an actual series are the pieces of Granite Countertop, and there are only 3 of them so far. Two of them are named, and the third is Scenes 15. Speaking of Scenes From A Morning Drive, these are numbered for convenience only.
You’re welcome! I’m only subscribed to a handful of blogs and I’m glad I found yours. I’ll just start from the beginning. And when I say beginning I mean your Hello World (says WordPress) which I think is genius of you to leave there (padding your post count).
Oh, um, anyway, Make Money Writing Pornos was intended to have previously anticipated and answered your question.
What do you mean?
I can read your thoughts, Harnew. I know what you’re thinking. I’m watching you. All the time… No, seriously, it occurred to me that people might wonder what I’m all about, what I’m up to, who I am. So I put links at the bottom to get them started, organized more or less by theme.
rofl! “I can read your thoughts, Harnew. I know what you’re thinking. I’m watching you. All the time…” that’s so wrong! LOL !
Great awareness! Thanks Edward!
Lovely banquet you had for the Versatile blogger award, so I’ve got another award for you
Check out my blog for details!
http://knida.wordpress.com/2011/09/30/never-look-a-gift-award-in-the-mouth/
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Trying to get in touch with you about the post you left for my blog. Give a holler, k?
Post I left for your blog?
Oh, the three words. Consider it retracted. I release thee, I release thee, I release thee.
This is the best “About” post I have read! I like your sense of humor. I cannot stop laughing at “Alpha Kenny Body”! I am grateful to have discovered your blog.
Thank you! You’re obviously demented and a person of refined style and taste.
I may or may not have just spent an hour on your “choose your own adventure” posts, thanks for making my sunday!
Ha! You just got Adventured!
Edward Hotspur, just wanted to congratulate you on being my 11th subscriber. Thank you for thinking me good enough to follow…..I bet you want another limerick…don’t you???
Yes, I do!
That picture is awesome. That’s a cookie fortune paper right? My fortune never said that.
“No matter what you do people will hate you” <- Yes, that's what I got.
Some people have really awful, just God awful About Me pages. This is an awesome about me page. Haha… yes you aren't discovered yet. When you are though don't forget us little people. You remind me of my sister so much. Similar ambitions.
It is an actual fortune from an actual cookie that I got a few weeks ago. There are no little people. There are only slightly smaller people. And slightly larger people.
Yay! I take pictures of my fortunes and post them on my blog, too! I’m going to follow simply because I like that…and you are funny!
Best first 2 sentences of the best About page I’ve read so far!
Thank you!
Agreed! Awesome man, thanks for the giggle- ain’t it the truth?
Thank you so much for stopping by!
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Dear Edward,
You have been nominated for the Liebster Blog Award
Come check out the post featuring you!
REally? That’s bitchin! Thank you!
Hey ya Edward! i nominated you for the versatile bloggers award!!
http://alizaswindow.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-versatile-blogger-award-yyaaaaaaaayyyy/
Your Pretty fucking awesome I love this blog, I wish I had known about it before. Look forward to reading more
Damn! Thanks, dude. Yours is hilarious and true! I totally agree with your rants about Freshly Pressed. I think I just made a comment about it up there somewhere. There are some good ones every so often, but they’re mostly as formulaic as music on the radio. And worse than the blogs that get FP’d are the same 20-30 people that make comments on every single blog no matter what the topic, point, post, format, reason, etc. That’s sad.
Man, I’m all ranty today! LOL
Ranty is good it seems to work for my wife. I keep coming home even though the will to live is being drained slowly from me. Really like ur blog though. it makes me laugh and think too !
I’m glad to hear it.
Your are obviously quite demented. I like that in a man.
And you like George Harrison, so you can’t be all bad. But please try, would you?
My god, sir. I hope you didn’t hurt yourself performing the triple entendres! You know, I bet you have a lot of “that’s what he said” jokes. But I’ll draw first penis.
“I like that in a man” That’s what he said. Amirite?
Little back story. One, in the immediate time frame, I’m drunk. Two, about 20 years ago, I used to go to this gay club on Thursdays, which was “Straight Night”, or “Alternative Night.” There I was desensitized and mind expanded and perspective altered to the point where the thing that bothered me about the guy wearing the powder blue prom dress and veil making out with the guy who wore leather thong, leather bra and leather cap was that they were blocking the fucking bathroom entrance. Interesting times indeed!
I can only assume that you derived the George Harrison thing from the sun. Do do doo do. I’ve never been with a man, but I think David Bromstad is hot.
I’m sure I’ll be editing some or all of this comment in the morning, but right now, I could never be Your Woman by White Town.
Ok, I’m in. I dig your blog. Figuratively, not literally because that would be harmful to my computer and then I would not be able to read this blog, ya know? Cheers.
Can you dig it? – PWEI
Thanks for digging me. You can also take my book with you. I have one, one on the way, and then another a little later. Like a whole litter of books! Wait… poor choice of words.
Now I’m mad at you.
Why? What did I do now? I swear it was an accident!
Actually, I shouldn’t joke. If you’re serious, tell me what I did and I’ll fix it.
Thanks for tracking me down…you have a really good site. Can’t wait to hang out here.
Thanks. I can’t wait to have you hanging out here. Wait, what did you mean by “hanging out”, exactly? Because there’s a Wiggle contest later.
Anyway, I’ve got nearly 400 posts for you to chew on. It will be 400 by the end of this week, probably. So get started!
Oh shit…..there’s too much stuff here. It will take me forever to steal all of this!
Ha ha – you don’t need to steal anything, because your blog is already great.
sorry …im already perfect…….cant help it it just comes naturally as you can hear…….also i never talk shyte,,,,,,not ever not once …not ever……in fact its just not possible………..
Well, yes, that’s obvious.
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One word for your About/Bio page: Awesome!
I swear this blog could entertain me for hours and hours. You’ve got a great sense of humor!
And, just asking because I’m curious: What’s with the background image of green sofa? I love that floral thing thrown in, yes.
Thank you so very much!
The background: Okay, at first, I used the Twenty Ten theme and a background of a larger version of my gravatar, with a line of burgundy Asiatic lilies in the header. I had that for about 6 months. Then I went through a wild period of experimentation with themes, backgrounds and headers, with swirls, fractals, space themes, fantasy planets, and so on. I found a theme I liked because it had pictures next to the text, and had only portions of the text, but people thought the font was too small. Then I found this, but to get away from the dark alien fantasy thing, I chose to go designer. I like Japanese/Asian stuff (you should see my house!), and I like that background, and the header seemed to go with it well, plus the theme had smaller pictures next to snippets of text and most importantly, people could read the font!
I like the colors and how it all goes together (I also watch a lot of HGTV), but most of all I like how the message sent by the design, background, theme, colors, etc. are, shall we say, somewhat at odds with the actual content of my blog. Most of the time, anyway.
“I chose to go designer. I like Japanese/Asian stuff (you should see my house!)” Love that! I think that’s why I had to ask… I don’t run across many blogs with the designer/Asian hybrid. Lol. Interesting look, really. And the color green just pops out without being annoying. Your house must be nice, if the designs revolve around the Japanese/Asian stuff. Nothing too fancy, I’m thinking. No frills and gaudiness.
Right. It’s Asian-themed, not Asian restaurant-themed.
Thanks for making me smile today
You are welcome! I hope I can do it again and again.
You don’t have to hope! lmao It was getting pretty boring around here. The other site I was on before wordpress wouldn’t tolerate battles and strange humor… Not many people understand sarcasm and twisted humor…
If you don’t mind, I’ll now read around your blog.
All I know is, I better find some of that wit and sarcasm that you speak of!
Mwa! ha ha ha!
Tag! U are it!!
http://alizaswindow.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/tag-you-are-it-lol-d/
I have invited you into the tag game, for more detail have a look at this …. http://verynormal.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/the-tag-game/
You’ve Just Been Tagged by me and its totally fun: check it out at:
http://aspoonfulofsuga.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/i-got-tagged-and-no-not-that-kind-of-tagging-and-im-tagging-11-people/
I do struggle in social situations sometimes so you’re advice to use the magic words: “Alpha Kenny Body” will be a Godsend, I’m sure. I’m such a wallflower, doomed to live my life on the periphery. Let’s hope such magic words will liberate me from the trappings of a plaster, paper and all sorts of other goopy substances…
And you should determine if you’re an infomaniac. A lot of people like to know that. In fact, the secret code words of an infomaniac are Alpha Kenny Body.
How very informative! I don’t know what I would have done without you.
Done a lot better?
I’m inclined to disagree – life would be incredibly dreary.
Awww…. that’s sweet.
It wasn’t intended to be, but I’ll take that.
Oh. Well, then I take it back.
How rude! You can’t take things like that back – you’ll ruin Christmas, you big Grinch.
How do you know I’m big? I can’t believe it! After all this time, someone finally guessed that I can’t move from this bed because I’ve eaten myself into a life of bedridden enormity. Thank you for caring so much! Will you be my Valentine?
I thought you’d never ask! Ooo I’m getting all hot about the collar now… hehe.
What’s a left handed salad? It sounds dirty. I like it. I kinda want one.
It’s tossed differently!
I just wanted to let you know that I have had so much fun today commenting back and forth with you and El Guapo. Thanks for being a great sport.
It was one of the best threesomes I’ve ever been a part of. I needed so many tissues! Because I have a small cold! Which is unrelated to our threesome!
You saw the post I awarded you in right?
Right.
You’re welcome.
You’re thanked.
I really am sorry. You have to admit it is pretty funny though…
I’m sorry…really, I was just tired, and SNL was on, and…I’ll buy your book to make it up to you.
Okay. You’re always making things up. To me. But I do not wear make up! Because I am a boy.
You whine like a girl…ok, I’ll stop, it’s just so easy
So are you. Whore.
A little testy today?
No! I meant that in the nicest possible way.
Sorry, I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing…does your wife know?
Does she know what?
That you like whores (best way possible comment), but I’m feeling guilty for giving you such a hard time now. I apologized on my blog
Your admission that you are a whore is apology enough. Sweet! that’s all I needed.
You got me…I don’t know what to say…oh yeah! Hobbler farts in your general direction. That is what you say when you lose a comment battle right?
No. That’s what YOU say when you lose a comment battle. What I say is “The only way to win is not to play.” So next time, if you want to win, don’t play.
Only narcissists want to win every time.
You spelled ‘realists’ wrong.
Narcissists feel like that is reality because it is *their reality.
You’re the expert on narcissism.
I’m not going to take up any more of your comment space because you need it so you can hear how wonderful you are. It’s been fun.
You think I’m wonderful? Thanks. That was sweet of you to say.
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Do you have a paperback of your Scenes book?
I’m working on that. I don’t know how long.
Another question, you know that challenge thing where you wrote the wonderful spa post? I wrote something in the middle of the night as I battled my insomnia. It is serious…kind of depressing. Do you think I should post that? Or write something a little lighter.
I think you should write something a little lighter, and then post them both. Life has multiple facets.
Did you see Sturday Night Live this weekend? I don’t know if you even like that, but I’ll try to find the clip that made me think of you.
I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I’ll look it up. Correction – I don’t watch a lot of TV that isn’t geared towards elementary school kids.
yeah, I know that feeling. Here is a link to the clip that made me think of you…http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/buddha/1388804
So, you and EG were emailing each other about the whole conspiracy thing…He thinks that I will do something again, but I have learned my lesson…no more crazy ideas
No, we weren’t. That’s just a rumor started by our political opponents.
That’s not what EG is saying, but I’ll flip a coin to see who I should believe.
That’s just a rumor started by EG.
Right, cause you would never lie to me either?
That’s right.
So, honestly, what did you think of my Trifecta Debut?
It’s really good! I liked it.
Thanks LA, I’ll leave you alone now.
You’re not bugging me.
Ok then, I was hoping I could talk to you about shopping, and shoes, and that time of the month…
Okay. There are these nice mary janes at Forever XXI, pink with black trim, not too high. And I find that when I get that not so fresh feeling, a little douche is just what the doctor ordered. So go find Chris Sheridan! Ha ha ha ha! Oh, that’s a little inside joke. Go look at the Chinese Zodiac post comments for details.
Ok, I’ll just click that link you gave me…
Your fingers aren’t broken, lady. Jeez. Okay, here. Sauron Panties and the Chinese Zodiac Cock Monkey Incident
I seem to remember someone saying that to me once…Thanks for the link. I think.
You’re welcome. Wait…. who said that to you? heh heh
For some reason, when I try to post a comment to your blog from work, it won’t let me do it. Sigh. I also can’t even see Hellis’ blog from work, but I can’t see anyone’s blog who has bought their name.
I havent bought my name…sell outs. You really don’t want to see the comments on that post anyway…they were just silly…
I see the comments, I just can’t add my own. My work is fickle. Sometimes I can post everything I do at home, and sometimes I can’t see anything but words, and so on.
That’s weird. It is probably a cum piracy.
I am shocked at your language. Just embarrassed about it, really.
I didn’t…oh, I know what you…that’s the problem with giving some people too much power. It goes straight to their…no, that won’t turn out well either.
I’m just messing with you.
I’ve been messing with you a little too lately, so I’ll let it slide.
That’s what she said.
I should have seen that coming. I am not sure that I understood your inside joke…does that mean I’m out of the club?
If you mean the alteration of your word, that’s what Guap and I did every time someone used a variation of that word. We changed it to something else.
I noticed that…just thought it was a typo.
Shut up Hotspur…I know you’re thinking I’m stupid now.
That’s completely untrue! I’ve been thinking you were stupid for weeks! Ha ha! Just kidding. It hasn’t been that long.
Hey, at least I’m fun stupid right?
Like Paris Hilton! ha ha
That was low…even for you.
Sorry. Should have said Lindsay Lohan.
Thanks…and I just got done telling everyone how infatuated you are with me…now I know why.
Whoa. You’re the one who’s infatuated! I can see you checking out my blog all the time through my telescope!
I don’t know why, but I do like you…not in any weird way. But I just feel a connection. It’s strange, but I’m at the point in my life that I would rather just come out and say it if someone touched me…that last part was just for you.
Did you not see the comments on today’s post about it? It’s funny LA, you would like it.
When did we even start to know eachother? It seems like it couldn’t have been too long ago.
WE vaguely ran across each other on a few blogs, and then you had your idea.
Crazy…and now I have commented to you a million times…and that is just today.
I know. It’s like you know me or something.
It’s strange. Just let me know when you get tired of me.
You are just brilliant…both of you. I tried to figure out if there was a way that I could block people from following the comment threads, but no luck so far. Not that I would use something like that.
Just e-mail people if you want to be all sneaky and stuff. But we’re onto you now, lady.
I’m not going to do anything…I’m not that stupid.
Sure you’re not!
So… you’re coming out? Wow. That’s great!
Hi, I have nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Details are here: http://looserornot.wordpress.com/2012/03/14/the-versatile-blogger-award-yes-im-the-chosen-one/ I hope you accept the award in the spirtit that I nominate you. Have fun best wishes!
I really appreciate it, but I don’t want to hog awardness that should go to newer blogs. So I’ll pass it on to some other blogs. Thanks!
Yeah, that’s cool with me! It’s still awesome you give it to the needy.
I was that person once. More than once!
Aren’t we all – in one way or another?
That is true, and profound.
I was going to just make this a post, but it gets a little offensive when you close the video out. I thought you could handle it.
To all my music loving friends:
I saw a commercial with a bit of this song in it.
Enjoy!
You know what that song’s about, right?
A cat killer?
A murderer.
Of a cat puppet?
Galileo.
Another song reference I know.
That figaros.
Yeah…in college I listened to Italin favorites…don’t speak it, but I loved the music.
I’m glad you’re being seville about it.
hmmm…rings a bell…not quite sure
p.s. you can always fix my spelling errors if you want to. I won’t be offended.
Actually, I’d insert more before I fixed them. Oh crap – speaking of that, I was wrong about how many comments I’ve edited, because I forgot about all the variations on the word “conspiracy” that I edited.
That was such a fun day too. Your editing was…I don’t even know what to say about that…I laughed a lot though.
I’m glad.
I’m officially worried about you now.
Why?
I don’t know earlier today I got this weird feeling, like something was wrong. I don’t usually buy into anything like that but, one time I had a similar feeling about someone. It’s a long story, and she was ok, but she said that some things really had been going on. That was weird too. I’m just weird LA.
Lol… nothing wrong with that.
That is what all the circus ring masters say.
I’m not a ring master.
What are you then, LA? I mean beside the whole LA thing…
What do you mean ‘what are you’? I’m a carbon-based life form?
I know…you are an international man of mystery right?
More like an American man of WTF?
Whatever…
When are you going to write something? I’m having withdrawal…
I don’t know. These comments are something, right?
Yes, at least I know you are alive.
Why wouldn’t I be?
You should read my blog sometime…
I’ll get to everyone’s tonight. I’ll read today, probably. I stayed off most of yesterday just to get a break.
Don’t worry about mine LA, I’ve just been telling Joe sorry, and writing about kidnappers, and enlightening the world of Trifecta. You haven’t missed much.
You’re on the short list of peeps I read.
I’ve suckered you into it…huh? Thanks for reading, but please don’t ever feel bad if you can’t or don’t want to. I just like teasing you about it.
You’re mean.
Good for you! I think we all need to take breaks sometimes. I used to stay off it every Sunday, but for the past few weeks, WP has been my break from real life drama, so I think I have actually been on more.
WP has been my real life drama. I had to get off it so I could listen to screaming kids and fight with my wife, and make up with my wife. Ahhhh……
The joys of family. Well, at least the screaming ends for a few hours when the kids sleep, and making up after a fight is always fun.
Making up before a fight is even better. Or instead of a fight.
Yeah…sorry…
“Mean” is the nicest thing you’ve ever called me.
Um, I just scrolled down throuh all the comments on your bio, and I might be obsessed. I’m going to find a different post to comment on.
LOL! Do a different one each day, and you woul;d never get through them all.
I just read all your confident guy ones. Good insight. I thought you said you were a wall flower…
I am, pretty much. But I’m on sometimes too.
Everything alright dude?
You seem a bit blah…
Extremely sick.
Hang in there man.
Same thing as before, or new and exciting illness?
Wonderful world of vomit and bedridden. Couchridden.
Greetings. Fascinating blog you have here. I shall stalk it like celery.
That’s celerious!
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I see you’ve already seen your nomination for the Creative Chaos Award so I’ll just say here that I love this blog. You’re doing some great stuff x
I see your face, or a whited=out version of it. It looks great, like a bowl of Capn Crunch or a baby duck. Thank you.
I nominated you for the ABC Award! Visit http://insearchofthesilverlining.wordpress.com/2012/04/05/this-blog-is-friggin-awesome/ at your convenience and keep up the awesome work!
Wow, thanks! I’ll acknowledge the shit out of this later today.
I love how much you cuss. LMFAO
It’s not the quantity, but the quality. Laughing My Freaking Artichokes Off!
I’m sure you have a thousand of these by now. But here you go.
http://terracanyon.wordpress.com/versatile-bloggers/
Not quite a thousand, but thank you so much
Love anyone who thinks word play and punning are a notional sport so decided to swing by your place. Think I’ll stay a while
. Nice to meet you.
Welcome to my show. Have you heard about corduroy pillows? They’re making headlines.
LOL, you read my one and only (well almost) serious post!
I had heard, but I don’t want to be too ridged about these things
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Where’s the fucking candy.
http://www.google.com/search?tbm=isch&hl=en&source=hp&biw=1360&bih=628&q=penis+candy&gbv=2&oq=penis+candy&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_l=img.12…1130.2790.0.4461.11.6.0.5.0.0.131.573.2j4.6.0…0.0.WgBW_yeMxwk
Hmmm. Can’t say that I’m surprised. I’ve heard about you.
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Excellent! My eyes are hurting from the colors here and I love flowers even when they’re not softening sarcasm (I do that with effervecence, but just a little because it can get sticky). Obscure enough to be interesting, Can’t wait for more! You can thank Guap for the referral here, perhaps send him a unicorn or something. or a rainbow or rainbow testicles, which I like (maybe) even better. –Laura
Hurting? Why? It’s so soothing and classy. And with over 650 posts, Hotspur has post that’s right for you
yeah, rainbow unicorn testicles.
How nice. Now I’ll need to have me mail screened.
Pegasus balls!
Glitter gonads!
sparkle sacs?
Disco balls?
golden globes!
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Hey I’ve nominated you for a Kreativ Blogger award: http://markitresearch.wordpress.com/2012/06/08/kreativ-blogger-award / – I love your blog
Hi Edward, glad I stumbled upon your blog. You have so much here to read, I’m deliciously overwhelmed! I like your style.
Well I ‘m glad you stumbled upon it too. I’ve got about 670 posts, so you’ve got some catching up to do! lol – thanks.
Hey, Edward, fun fact: In the game “Shadows Of The Damned”, you play as Garcia Fucking Hotspur.
(That is his actual middle name.)
Wow, that is cool! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shadows_of_the_Damned
I heard you like awful puns. I got some ones that are pretty Gouda if I do say so myself, can’t say I have heard cheddar but I think I am provolone on this one.
Those were just….. grate.
Tank you, I thought they would blow you away.
I gave you an award: http://wp.me/p1Cvgh-1DG
I have to hand it to you, Hotspur. You have the yellowest blog I’ve ever seen.
Madame Weebles,
My wife keeps on insisting that I am colour blind. I see green. Nonetheless, it’s the ugliest blog I’ve ever seen.
Le Clown
Good thing there isn’t a blog written on your face, then.
Dachshund,
True. Even the most beautiful blog would appear hideous next to my magnificent visage.
Le Clown
Clown Brulee:
Magnificently flawed visage. But again, how noble of YOU to concede that my blog is beautiful so early in this duel!
Dachshund,
Beautiful like anything portrayed on The Macabre and the Beautifully Grotesque – without the beautiful part.
Le Clown
Oh, are you making this a beauty pageant now? Any excuse for you to drag out your evening gown, I guess.
Dachshund,
This took too much of a dive to even deem a comeback comment. I hope you do better during the duel.
Le Clown
Dive? Oh, my mistake. It was the swimsuit competition you were after, not the evening gown.
Dachshund,
You’re still here? Right… It’s your [very ugly] blog.
Le Clown
Funny – it wasn’t ugly until today.
Dachshund,
Leave it to me to spill the hard truths. You’re welcome.
Le Clown
This truth was not that hard – you showed up on my blog today, my blog became ugly today. Even YOUR readers could figure that out.
Edward,
Obviously, you do not read my blog. I’m sorry, I’m actually lawling at this one. Don’t mean to be rude.
Le Clown
I’m sure your readers are too clueless to be offended by your rudeness.
Dachshund,
Let me share this comment on my blog. I’m sure my readership will appreciate.
Le Clown
Well, as Mr. Hotspur just informed me, it’s chartreuse. Which has green in it. So you’re not wrong, really. It’s still ugly.
Your jealousy is so transparent.
It’s “Clear,” actually.
Right – it IS clear that your jealousy is transparent! How noble of you to concede this so soon in the duel.
Wow, someone has been on the hallucinogens today.
There is no need for you to disclose that, as there is no drug testing for this competition. Do you think the hallucinogens will help you write your blog?
Actually I was referring to you, dear. I need no mind-altering substances to kick your ass bloggy style.
It certainly sounds like it. Did your walls stop melting yet?
Le Clown is the one who lives in the igloo, not me.
No, dear – he lives in Quebec, not Nunavut.
Look at his address on his blog.
It’s chartreuse, actually.
Oh, pardon me, chartreuse.
Your apology is accepted.
You are totally Generally Awesome (but who am I kidding, you already know that.) I am awarding you with the Saggy Award for General Awesomeness. http://thegoodthebadandthesaggy.wordpress.com/2012/09/19/thank-yous-and-lots-of-general-awesomeness/ Stay awesome.
Thank you! You’re so young-looking.
I was hoping you would say that.
I found you from the Blog Idol contest. Good lord, you crack me up. If Madame Weebles follows you, I must follow you too!
That’s a great reference!
Please, please, please tell me where ‘hotspur’ came from….
Okay. Not from Harry Hotspur, at least not directly. I should do a post on this, but I’m not sure too many people give a shit. Anyway, It went like this:
1) In the 90s, I liked English Premier League soccer. My fave underdog team was Tottenham Hotspurs.
2) Later, I was looking for a pseudonym in case I wrote a book or joined a band or some shit. My regular name – not so marketable. So I took Edward, which is my real middle name, and Hotspur. Edward Hotspur.
3) Later, much to my surprise and delight, it turned out that ‘Hotspur’ was one possible translation of my actual last name! Amazing – blew my mind.
4) So if I backdate it, I can tell people that I am like Alexander Zivojinovich, better known as Alex Lifeson of Rush – “Lifeson” is a near-translation of Zivojinovich (son of life).
5) I also considered and toyed with Dorian Gray, because I look much younger than my age. Sadly, that gap is closing. But also, that name is taken, and actionable.
My son is Dorian – after Dorian Gray AND the Dorian Scale (my husband is a musician, I am a literary nerd).
I am a fan of English history starting with Empress Maud through Richard III – so that’s why ‘Hotspur’ caught my eye. That’s really cool that ‘Hotspur’ was an actual translation of your last name..
Edward is the middle name of my father/brother…
Weird – eh?
So are you English or just an English soccer fan?
American, and a soccer fan in general. I can do an English accent, though. I left a vid comment on one of Clown’s posts regarding our recent duel.
I hope that ‘father/brother’ means father and brother, and not that your father and brother are the same person.
I’m a fan of civilization history, but not individual history necessarily. I like “The Huns did such and such” but not “Billy the Fifteenth did such and such”.
brother and father are different people – but an uncle-dad would be just as interesting…but not for me
Ha ha, just kidding anyway. Probably. What other skeletons do you have in your closet?
mawhaha
Uh oh
Oh and if I give a shit – it makes it worth writing about
I like that sentiment!
I might just have to start referring to myself in the 3rd person… ha ha…
I did a whole post like that and every comment I made that day like that also. It was a Narcissism Challenge to see how long you could go without saying I, me, my or myself. Hotspur did great at that challenge.
That must have been joyous for everyone to read.
Hotspur would like to think that everything he writes is joyous for people to read. Nah, it was kind of a pain, but I stuck it out for the day.
it builds narcissism and character.
Narcissism IS character.
My moniker is styled, loosely, after William of Ypres – even though I’m an Empress Maud fan…and I like to research for money as my vocation. And I love Rutabagas and Frank Zappa. And he loves singing about them.
I think that would be an interesting job. I do it all the time for fun as it is. Or, to win an argument.
I love my job – I do research for public television. You did find the Vet School in St. Kitts…bonus points for that..I updated my BLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGG to include your astute research findings.
That’s a really long blog.
I would love doing that, unless it didn’t pay that much. Then, not sure. Though, any pay would be better than doing it for free, like I do now.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many tight variations on the same thing before. I get lots of [something] chick, but all over the place.
I’m sure it was a class doing research on sheep during a trip to the library. I don’t have many search terms, that was the most.
The Kitts blog is really long? If you haven’t noticed I’m chronically verbose (and in writing as well).;
I didn’t notice. You seem normal to me. I have lots of search terms. Some of them are in my Blogger Idol voting posts.
Duh – I totally missed the ‘that’s a really long blog’ being associated with how I speeellleeed it – not the actual length of my posts.
Ok – brain not working ….
LoL I missed that you missed it.
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Hey – your newest post Music for the Masses in my Head links to nowhere…
That’s because I meant to schedule it for later, but didn’t change the date.
so you’re wasting my time? What kind of blogger are you?
I’m teasing you. Leaving you wanting more. I don’t just give it all up in the first post, you know.
This kind of behavior will always come back to haunt you
Perfect. Just in time for Halloween.
It’s always Halloween in my world
*cue Ministry song*
Or Bauhaus – I’d like Bela Lugosi’s Dead
All 9+ glorious minutes.
When I was a DJ in college, that song was all the rage. Mostly because it was ‘alternative’ but 9 minutes long, so we could go to the bathroom or get a drink.
How old are you Hotspur?
Guess!
12!
Though in all fairness, it’s no ‘make typos and grammatical errors in a comment that mocks someone’s typo.’
I forgive you your transgressions, Hotspur…My typos are amusing and delightful.
My transgressions are loveable as well as forgivable.
That they are – thus the forgivenss…
I guess I don’t have to edit Friday’s post now.
Hell NO – Rex Stout did not edit – Hotspur does not edit.
You know, I pretty much DON’T edit.
Well maybe your Archie Goodwin.
“You’re”? Or maybe Granite Countertop.
MEA CULPA, MEA CULPA! I should have been “you’re” – thank you for pointing out my obvious faults.
Whatever ‘forgivenss’ is
What I can’t forgive is if you don’t write about me – since you asked what topics people wanted you to write about… I would assume “me” was high in the list – and that “me” will equal ME -
Patience, grasshopper.
I have none – I’m quite used to that remark. I fancy myself more of a cat than a grasshopper…
Fine. “Patience, catasstrophy.”
Ha ha – you’ve got me pegged.
I can read you like a book. A cookbook full of recipes I haven’t tried yet. That sounded dirty, so I’ll distract you by saying you haven’t guessed how old am I yet.
15!
*sigh*
79!
You’re getting lukewarmer.
52!
No. 16.
Soap
That’s not even a numbah.
Are you sure?
Yep, pretty much. How’s it going? Nice weather? The hubs and kids good?
Ok, ok…if Bela Lugosi’s dead was big during your college years, I would guess you’re in your mid 40s.
I’m a little older than you
leave my husband and my kid out of this debacle.
I’ll leave you out instead.
No wait – it came out in 1979 …if it was a hit then and you were in college – you’d be in your 50s…
Right, because music can only be played in the year it came out.
Hee hee..don’t be a smartass-hotspurt. I would say you’re probably in your mid 40s then – if you’re slightly older than me.
Factual statements are “smartassed”? Odd stance from a researcher.
Sigh…ok – end of conversation… IN FRONT OF ME STANDS A HOTSPUR. BEHIND ME I STAND SAYING “STOP NOW!” – there…
And facts, smacts…you can use facts to prove anything even remotely true… (thank you Homer Simpson).
I’m sorry that happened. But you’re one of the finest human beings I know in this limited way.
That is utterly silly – I’m just as fine as you are. And I’ve lost track of the conversation – you’re sorry what happened?
In your post. And you’re much finer than I am.
Oh Hotspur – thank you but it’s not true. I was a bully when I was younger and I wish I could take back some of the stuff I did.
Oh
Yes, in 5th-6th grade I was unmerciful in teasing another person. It has haunted me for a long time. I’ve apologized to her years ago – but it still stuns me that I did that – and now that I have a child, I worry about him being subjected to someone like me.
What are you trying to do, exactly?
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Okay…. I am totally getting sucked in by reading every single word on here today… actually smiling; a rarity for me. Thank you for that.
Always, Me
I am glad when I make someone smile. It makes me smile. Wow, that sounds like I’m being self-serving, but nope, it’s all for other people!
So many awards, so little time!! I have nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. You truly do inspire me to continue to beat the words in my head into submission. Thank you!!
Awwwww, thank you!
The more of these little gems I discover on your blog, the more I fucking love you. I hope your awesomesauce wife won’t mind. I may get fired from my job because I keep reading more of your brilliance instead of doing my job……my next comment may come from a piece of cardboard with a keyboard drawn on it!!
Wow, that’s pretty… Wow… I’m floored by your kind words. Thank you!
I speak from the heart….sometimes it’s a curse….sometimes it’s enchanting….and sometimes it’s a blog.
I know exactly what you mean – I’m the same way.
One of the things I appreciate about you most is your honesty. People get that in your writing.
And then they go ‘Ewwwwwwww’
The nerve!! Where are they?? I’ll take care of them!!
LOL I love how protective you are of me *bats eyelashes*
I can’t seem to help myself.
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I just scrolled back in your comments and found this one – “Little back story. One, in the immediate time frame, I’m drunk. Two, about 20 years ago, I used to go to this gay club on Thursdays, which was “Straight Night”, or “Alternative Night.” There I was desensitized and mind expanded and perspective altered to the point where the thing that bothered me about the guy wearing the powder blue prom dress and veil making out with the guy who wore leather thong, leather bra and leather cap was that they were blocking the fucking bathroom entrance. Interesting times indeed!” – I am currently still trying to get the coffee out of my keyboard!! You need to be encased in gold and preserved forever!!
Like Han Solo?
We’d have to clone you first so everybody could have their own Hotspur.
More than one of me would be a hoot.
That is an understatement if I’ve ever heard one!! I’d pay a lot of money to be in the front row for that Hotspur show!!
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Thought provoking site… look forward to following along.
Some thoughts will be better than others, but thank you!
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Edward, how are you?
Good news, I would like to personally hand you the “BEST MOMENT AWARD“. Congratulations and enjoy the rest of the day!
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Alpha Kenny Body. . .I am so using that this weekend!!! Hell yeah! I may just find a new man with that!
Hi Edward…
Thanks so much for linking back to my post. That was so sweet of you and it gave me a chance to come check you out!
Love your blog an look forward to reading more
Thank you!
Good morning Mr. Hotspur! I wanted to give you the WordPress family award. It’s not an award that means a lot of work on your part, it’s just a way to say thanks for being a great support in my journey through blogging and through life.
The link is here: http://polysyllabicprofundities.files.wordpress.com/2013/04/wordpress-family-award.jpg
Thank you. I swear too much for some families, but I appreciate it. You’re a good person.
Thank you. I really appreciate that.
‘Alpha Kenny Body’. Hahahahahaha, I LOVE IT.
Hello friend! Yes, it’s ‘that’ time. I’m just following and passing along: You have been nominated for the “Very Inspiring Blogger Award.” Please view my page to accept and take part in this fun award. *hugs*
(P.S: The amount of comments I had to scroll past to get to the box to type this? ZEESH! “Mr. Popular”.)
Naaaaa…. I’ve been at this for a while. lol
Thank you!
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