Edward Hotspur

The Official WordPress Blog Of Edward Hotspur – whoever that is.

Kissing In Public Spreads Disease, Should Be Banned

You’re walking along on your yacht or shuffleboard deck, and you look over – and some couple is kissing. As you resist the urge to vomit, you reach for your surgical mask dispenser and reflect on how many germs and diseases are spread because people can’t keep their mouths closed. Kissing in public is shocking, gross, unsanitary, and it should be banned.

It’s shocking because you expect people to behave themselves in public – not engage in some kind of Mating Dance Of The Water Buffalo prior to having intercourse. Children may be witnessing this! What’s next – defecating in public? You can’t just do anything you want. People have to exercise some self-restraint. That’s what makes us civilized – self-restraint and not giving in to our base urges, our primal instincts, until we’re behind closed and locked doors with the lights out.

It’s gross because we’ve all known our entire lives not to chew food with our mouths open. How is this any different? I’ll tell you how – it’s TWO PEOPLE with their mouths open. That’s twice as gross. And when these people also have their tongues out? Why not just chew the same piece of gum and spit everywhere, like a disgusting version of that cute scene in Lady and the Tramp? And it’s not like they’re in a field or on some hiking path – they do it right in the middle of busy restaurants while people are eating and drinking!

This is just disgusting

Which brings up the unsanitary aspect. It’s unsanitary. Do people realize how much airborne bacteria-laden saliva they are putting into the air? No, I don’t think they do. No. They don’t. Uh-uh. No way. Can’t be. They’re not even looking! They don’t see how much spit they’re spitting, how much slobber they’re slobbering, how much drool they’re drooling. And it goes everywhere – on the floor, up in the air, cycling in the water system, forming raindrops and falling right on our children! It’s terrible.

All the above is why I’m in favor of banning kissing in public. I think I’ve made my case. And you know you agree so…

Click here to sign the petition to ban kissing in public!

Edward Hotspur

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51 comments on “Kissing In Public Spreads Disease, Should Be Banned

  1. Polysyllabic Profundities
    January 20, 2014

    Lol….I couldn’t help thinking about how many times you must have looked at that picture and smiled, just a little.

  2. pouringmyartout
    January 20, 2014

    I promise to never kiss you in public…

  3. H.E. ELLIS
    January 20, 2014

    We disagree? Say it ain’t so!

    I loooove kissing in public! I even like watching other people kiss in public. Like when a couple can’t walk ten feet without stopping to kiss because they are so in love, or when a little old man gives a little old lady a quick peck, even though they’ve probably done it a thousand times before. It never fails to make me smile.

    • Edward Hotspur
      January 20, 2014

      So, who are you kissing in public? lol

      Parts of this post might not be serious.

      • H.E. ELLIS
        January 21, 2014

        I KNEW IT!!! No one who created something called “Romantic Monday” could think kissing in public is bad.

      • benzeknees
        January 21, 2014

        BTW, I saw a little old couple (probably in their 80’s) come out of Sobey’s today & hold hands all the way to their car!

        • Edward Hotspur
          January 21, 2014

          Is Sobey’s a strip club?

          • benzeknees
            January 21, 2014

            A grocery store! But it would have been good if it was a strip club too!

          • Edward Hotspur
            January 21, 2014

            You mean a grocery store strip club?

  4. benzeknees
    January 20, 2014

    I will kiss anyone I want wherever I want & you can’t stop me! Nanana boo boo!

  5. Trent Lewin
    January 20, 2014

    But is it okay to kiss Art in public? Um, not that I’m thinking about that or anything…

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This entry was posted on January 20, 2014 by in Current Events and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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