So, yeah, it’s still Ohio up in this mutha. And by ‘mutha’, I mean motherfucker, in case that wasn’t quite clear. Motherfuckers are clear, G Money! I hear people saying that all the time. “That’s as clear as a motherfucker.” Some people say ‘clear as a bell’, but have you ever seen a transparent bell? No, you have not, because it’s transparent! You can’t see it if it’s transparent! I think that’s clear – clear as a motherfucker, in the actual fuck.
Which brings me to the other phrase people say all the time, ‘what the actual fuck?’ As opposed to some kind of pretend fuck, or faux fuck? Fake fuck? Oh look, there’s a fake faux fuck on Fox! Say THAT three times fast. Now say it two times slow. Now say it looking into the mirror. You look ridiculous, don’t you. That was a statement, wasn’t it. And so was that. And that’s that.
Witch brings me a broom. I say ‘thank you, witch’ and she says ‘who you callin’ a witch? That’s wicca-ty wicca-ty whack.’ I say ‘isn’t that Knick-Knack Paddy Whack’s sister?’ And she says ‘yes it is, and she hates capital letters in her name. Hi, wicca-ty! How are you today?’ And wicca-ty says ‘Ok. How are you, Witch? And how are you, Edward?’ And I say ‘I’m fine. Thank you.’ And witch says ‘I feel clear as a motherfucker.’
See? They say that all the time!
Oh d-d-d-dear, said Piglet, in some book. However, he is correct. I almost forgot the reason for this post! And now I HAVE forgotten it! So I’ll just say this instead: It’s Ohio, and right now it’s 30 degrees colder right now than it was when I got up this morning. And because of all this temperature fluctuation, the trees have started budding. Even the TREES are confused by Ohio weather! It’s really hard to confuse a tree, because they’re so… down to earth! But I thought I’d make like a tree, and post. So I posted this thing right here. This thing.
Side Note: I have eaten two 6oz boxes of Bottle Caps in the last two days. You’d think I would have said ‘a box a day’, but that wouldn’t be accurate. It’s more like 1.5 boxes yesterday, and the rest of the box today. The box a day thing is a good average, but it’s not really an accurate representation of what actually happened in real terms vis a vis statistical analysis I can’t believe you’re still reading this sentence because it’s so fucking boring!
I worked out today, and it was a neat end to just a peachy day! It was boring, and then I ate lunch, and then more boringness followed, capped off by the gym, where first I was treated to Aerosmith’s Greatest Hits of the Eighties, and then the gym manager interrupted with some Kesha, which immediately made me miss Aerosmith of the Eighties. I fucking hate that bitch bitch because she makes me sick sick and her songs rip off other songs songs and they all sound the same same and she is such a poor writer writer that she ends up just repeating repeating the last word in a line line. But on the bright side, it made me work out faster and get the fuck out of there.
So I walked to my car, where I discovered it was fucking colder than the morning. Oh yeah! But at least the rain/sleet/snow that was falling on my car had washed off all the road salt from the past few days. My windshield was as clear as a motherfucker!