In this day and age, information is king. Everyone has access to and interest in lots of different types of information, but some people take it so far that they become information maniacs. These ‘infomaniacs’ get their feeds from Yahoo, Slate, Drudge, Fox, CNN, MSNBC, all the major networks, Google, Wikipedia, and social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter and WordPress. Here’s how to tell if you’re one: It’s all about information.
An infomaniac loves it and gets it whenever they can. An infomaniac loves to be on top of it, or sitting under it, as long as they’re in the middle of it. They crave it all the time, and an infomaniac will get it from whoever they can – friends, acquaintances, coworkers, people they just met, complete strangers – they’ll even get it from family members. An infomaniac will sometimes stay up for hours on the internet, late at night, when they can’t find someone to get it from. And even after they get some, they still want more. An infomaniac is never satisfied – they will try to hook up with people at airports, bars, even places where even talking about getting it is inappropriate like churches, libraries and schools. An infomaniac will approach people in grocery stores, and strike up a conversation like this happens every day. Some people are put off by this bold attempt to get it, but of course there are some who are completely receptive to giving it to them, and as much and as often as they want it.
It’s when it spills over into work that it can be a problem. Some workplaces have rules against an infomaniac just getting it from anyone or anywhere. It can affect careers, and has brought down great people in the past. People also tend to talk about an infomaniac behind their back, especially if they have tried to get some at a work party or worse, a Christmas or retirement party. Quite often the security teams and supervisors at a company will be compelled to take classes to deal with an infomaniac, and make sure that they don’t get out of hand, expose anything the company doesn’t want seen, or embarrass the company in some way.
The worst thing that can happen to an infomaniac is that they want it so bad and have such a problem trying to get it that they cross a line and get arrested. We have seen several cases in the media lately of an infomaniac who got into legal trouble and brought down an organization because of their unquenchable desire to get it or to give it to someone.
If this describes you, then you may be an infomaniac. If you are, then you should stare at yourself in the mirror and say “I am an infomaniac.” Admit to yourself that you have a problem. And then, you can go out into the world and talk about your problem. You can tell people your story, like a testimonial. You can finally hold your head high and say “Everyone – I am an infomaniac.” In time, you will be able to go into a crowded bar, club, hotel lobby or downtown street, anywhere where there are a lot of people, and shout at the top of your lungs:
“I am an infomaniac! And I am proud!”
This public service announcement brought to you by
Edward Hotspur
My Monday keeps getting better and better! Well done, sir. TwinDaddy should like the “Listen up, bitches” on the picture!
That was a hoot. Thanks.
To admit is the first step.. (In the 12 steps, hence Heroin brought me to the steps to recovery & all the stuff that goes with it, step one is to ‘admit’ we are powerless and our lives have become unmanageable) I thought of the step one when I read this..
Whew… that sounds awful… thank god I’m just a slut.
LOL… not everyone gets the joke.
Didn’t you do this one before?
Yes!
Whew! I don’t think I could handle deja vu again on your blog.
You’re sane! I’m just thinking of slowing down a bit.
Ha! And here I am trying to figure out something (anything) to write…
Guapo, surely you have tons of stray thoughts in a cube. I know I do. And I go for a walk and get ideas. But you can also do Daily Prompt, Trifecta, Ketchup With Us, Thursday Haiku.
Are you concerned that since your post provides a dose of valuable information, it continues to feeds the addiction?
I’m mostly concerned that people won’t get that “an infomaniac” sounds like “a nymphomaniac” and then reread the post.
I constantly need my fix! On the couch, in bed, I even multitask while I’m writing a new blog post!
ha ha!