Didn’t I Just Do This? – A Daily Prompt Post

· by · in Writing, Humor, Ridiculous, Did You Know?, Self, Satire. ·

insult_quote-13123Daily Prompt today cracked me up. No, that’s not true. I cracked up me already. Because today it told me to do something that I had just gotten finished with done doing.

Set a timer for ten minutes. Open a new post. Start the timer, and start writing. When the timer goes off, publish.

I just did that with just having just posted the post I just wrote called Just Whatever. It was just a few minutes ago. Oh, I guess I’ll hit the timer. That timer is a douche anyway – it has a punch in the face coming to it. Okay, ready? This is what ten minutes of free writing looks like when I’m all sick and stuff.

START

So there I was, thinking of what to write, when all of a sudden a thought knocked on the door. It’s 9:20am EST right now! So I answered the door, and it was actually two thoughts dressed in ties, with magazines. I wasn’t really interested in those thoughts, so I killed them and hid the bodies in my shower. And then, I found them! That was the fucking easiest game of Hide and Seek ever! But fortunately they were zombies, for legal reasons, so I didn’t actually kill them nor do I advocate killing anyone ever, unless they really deserve it. So instead of living like they were dying, they lived like they were dead. I asked them why they were knocking on doors with magazines, and they said ‘We don’t know, perhaps our overlord has ordered us to.” And I asked who their overlords were, and they said “Hey, before we answer that, why did you use a single mark quote to open the last thing we said, but a double mark quote to close it?” And I said “Want some pizza?” And they said they did.  So I ordered some Zombinos, and they were there in 30 minutes or less, but somehow I said that in past tense even though it’s only 9:24 right now.

All of a sudden, suddenly, at once, just then, immediately, unexpectedly.  Whoa, I’m halfway there. When Jon Bon Jovi committed crimes as a kid, did he go to Bon Juvie? He probably didn’t. He’s a little runaway. I’m on a roll! I dropped a roll on the kitchen floor, and then stepped on it. I’ll probably have to throw that away. This is going nowhere. I’ve reached a cul de sacre bleu moon riverdance. It’s time for a poem:

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who was tired of people making stupid limericks about his island

I took my wife to one of those places where they make the food right in front of you. So elegant. Have you heard of ‘Subway’? Yeah, I know. You’re jealous. No, seriously, it was a long time ago, in a different city. But I did. They did little tricks, and threw food into people’s mouths, and other tricks like not catching me on fire, and not slicing themselves open. That takes talent. Unlike this post, which just took a keyboard, and account, and an internet connection. And that’s time, ladies and gentlemen! 9:30am. 10 minutes of pure gold-plated imitation lead writing! Enjoy it so very much that you come back for more.

FINISH

Edward Hotspur

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36 responses on “Didn’t I Just Do This? – A Daily Prompt Post”

  5. Your random thoughts and my random thoughts are totally different. Half of my page would be filled with me thinking….thinking…thinking…about….nothing…hmmmm…why can’t I think when I need to think and think constantly when I don’t…is something wrong with me…am I broken…should I eat…will eating help…maybe I am sick…did I take my meds..maybe I forgot my meds…I should call the doc..maybe I am on the wrong meds…omg I can’t stop thinking about being crazy now…. Ok now someone stop me.

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  8. Fancy is overrated. Subway is delicious! Hooray for ten minutes spent …. hmm, would you call it “well” spent? I wouldn’t necessarily call it “poorly” spent (Indiana Jones reference – “You have chosen poorly.”). So, let’s just go with it as it is: ten minutes spent.

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  13. Yes! You did just do this! We were talking about it yesterday.. the lovely free write! (I’m behind on my reading.. but I got to you finally.. curled up in my bed) I think I’ll do this prompt tomorrow! I’m curious to see what kind of free write will come out of me these days… hummmm..? ~jen

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