I felt terrible. I walked out the front door and walked around the house, just walking around and around it, hopping the fence at appropriate times, walking until people started watching. They gathered as I walked. I walked out at the widest possible location, for days and days, until I had worn a deep path, until I had worn out a low road, until I had worn a gulley. With drawbridge for the cars. Rope swing for the mailman. And it rained, or snow melted, or both, and the gulley filled up, a moat around the house, protecting it from things that couldn’t swim, fly, or jump pretty far, or swing across a rope, or operate a drawbridge.
I installed a toll booth at the drawbridge, and hired a band of passing banshees to operate it. I figured they were bored, and that’s why they screamed all the time, and I was right. They started singing instead, drawing people in, which was kind of a coincidence since it was a drawbridge. They collected lots of money, doing such a great job that I converted the toll booth into a stage, and put up an inflatable screen so I could rear project movies to accompany their performances. All the neighborhood residents came, and even beyond that into other neighborhoods, just to see the banshees perform.
Alas, the very thing that had tied all the banshees to this land was the wish fulfillment of performing for crowds, so it wasn’t long before they moved on to the afterlife, or whatever. Before they went, they promised to reward me for taking them in and showing them the way. I pointed out that I was walking around in circles the whole time, and happened upon them by accident, so I really hadn’t done anything.
They said that sometimes, during moments of inner reflection, we randomly encounter people who we help, intentionally or not, people who needed our help, and by doing something as simple as enabling those people to do what they always wanted to do, we find our own rewards. Sure enough, when spring came around, instead of the two trees I was shocked to discover a glade had sprung up overnight, with a family of deer living in, right there in the front yard. My family named all the deer. Of course, Jane Doe was the mother deer’s name. The father deer wasn’t John Doe, though, because that’s just weird.
Edward Hotspur
So insightful, and still so damned funny!!
I just opened a Notepad and started writing, and 20 minutes later, that’s what I had. Coughing the entire time.
Banshee! Banshee! Gesundheit.
Auto-brilliance!! They should put that in the dictionary with your smiling face beside it!!
Hope you feel better soon. I know Guapper has been sick for about 5 days too….keep your germs in your country!!
Nobody takes the unexpected corner like you, Ed. You can be so many things at one time. That is an awesome talent to have.
I’m like a Swiss Army person! Unless I’m the wrong thing at the wrong time.
Yeah, I do that a lot… most of the time… it is Facebooke’d up!
Was the father named John Buck?
LOL
I love a good free write! You never know what’s gonna come about, what your mind will tell you, when you just let yourself go, …and…free write… Nice! ~ Jen
I literally never know what’s going to come out. It’s like I’m reading it for the first time.
Yes! You get that element of surprise, like when writing a duet and you’re waiting to see what the other has written, except this is just with yourself… so it’s interesting to see where your very own mind takes you when you free write!
Which, if you think about it, should disturb me, but somehow doesn’t.
Is it disturbing to be surprised by your very own mind…? Do you think that means you are a little out of control..? I think is’t just releasing formalities and being creative without rules..
I guess it’s okay to do sometimes.
I think so.. even if what you come up with is a little, unexplainable or disturbing! It’s writing, it’s expressive, it’s an art.
I like the way you think. You’re making it okay to be demented sometimes.
I literally just laughed out loud!! Thank you for that!! I’m not sure if that is a compliment, or a polite diss… but funny regardless!! My good sense of humor likes you lots!!
~jen
A compliment. I’ve written some strange things.
Outside the box is good! Staying inside the lines is boring.. I do not take you as boring at all! I enjoy the strange! Thank you H!! ~ j
That’s good. I’m sick again. That’s when the strangest things come out.
Maybe you have cabin fever? As Jen LeFever, I know about all the ‘Fever’s! (Did I just say that! I’m such a dork!! Ha!) No.. really, many nicknames/jokes have been made about the ‘Fever in my name! ..I think you may have cabin fever my friend!
Not really – the last thing I wanna do is go somewhere. I’d love to crawl back in bed, actually. I say ‘back’ because I was in bed earlier.
So do it! Crawl back into bed! It’s gloomy in the city here today.. I’m not sure where you are, but it’s gloomy somewhere so that’s good enough! Get your rest, the world will be here when you’re back on your feet! Crawl back in your bed if your heart desires! ~J
I like where your head is at, but I just made dinner. Technically, I finished it.
Very entertaining, and then a good message knocks you upside the head before reverting to the funny again. That’s some crazy talent there, Mr. Hotspur.
“Crazy” is right.
Magical things come out of your mind! Lovely, insightful, funny and perfectly absurd. I love being surprised by your writing, again and again.
My brain is like a box of chocolates… melted…
Hahaha! I wonder what Forrest Gump would say to that.
Hey Edward, sir… this is just awesome! I first feared it would be a Flash in the Pan entry and I would be sad that it didn’t go on longer, but thanks to you and the banshees, I am satiated and happy! Thanks dude!!
Thanks, Buddhakat! I appreciate it.
That was great. I loved the entire process with the twist at the end. Of course he wasn’t named John Doe; he was named John Deere.
Yes – congrats on being the first to mention it.