Daily Prompt is in trouble? Quick! To the Sarcasmobile! Oh, crap, a flat tire. What to do? OMG WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? GAH! HELP ME!!!!!!!!! What do you suggest?
Honestly evaluate the way you respond to crisis situations. Are you happy with the way you react?
Oh. WHEW! Relax, people – I got this. Yes, I am happy. I must be wired backwards from most people, because when there’s a crisis, I am as cool as a cucumber in an icebox in the middle of the Antarctic in July, which will make sense to Aussies and Kiwis, but everyone else will think ‘isn’t it hot in July?’ – except for NO, because Antarctic. In a related story, man I hate cucumbers, except in metaphors and similes.
When a crisis comes up, I am for whatever reason incapable of freaking out. I’m at my most calm when something really bad is happening, especially when I have either no control over it or complete control over it. Except for maybe in matters of the heart, which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT! Other than that, though, I tend to step back, unless I’m on the edge of stairs because that’s dangerous, and consider all the options, even the crappy ones. Sometimes there are ONLY crappy options. Then, it’s a Hobson’s choice. I just pick the least crappy option – you know, like when you vote! Zing!
One thing I do, though, is imagine plausible crises, and then imagine what I would do in them. It’s like taking out my own Freak Out Insurance Policy – I’ve already inoculated myself against the crazy event that is now actually happening, so now I just have to choose some course of action. I only do this with plausible or even likely events. I’m not a hypochondriac or Chicken Little or something. Things like, for example, I’ve noticed each of my cars goes through about one major repair per year. So if it’s been a while for one of them, I start banking some money, and sure enough, holy fuck, car no work. So I’m inconvenienced for a day, and there you go. Crisis averted. Also, wallet depleted.
But that’s why they make bacon and alcohol! I’m surprised there isn’t a bacon-flavored liquor already…. wait a minute…. Hang on…. Yeah, that’s what I thought:
You’re welcome!
Edward Hotspur
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“Except for maybe in matters of the heart, which is TOTALLY DIFFERENT!”
I understand completely. Me – I freak out over everything, except for actual real emergencies and then I am your girl.
That’s actually useful and interesting. Like, what to wear drives you crazy, but all the power going out, and nothing?
No. I do not freak out over what to wear. Anymore.
More like–oh shit! I just told a total stranger a secret, what ever will they think of me?
The power going out–yawn. Let’s take a nap.
That total stranger wasn’t bothered, I’m betting, so you’re fine! lol
I don’t know why I let stupid things get to me, but I do. It’s me. Ta-da.
It wasn’t me, was it?
Not unless you … nevermind. No, it wasn’t you. I don’t think.
Okay. Good.
Two nights ago I wore a very cute strapless summer dress that comes down to my knees with thigh high boots and a flash me grey wool pea coat to go grocery shopping. So no, I don’t fret much over what I wear. I probably should worry more about it.
That actually sounds like a cute outfit. Hmmmm….
I won’t lie. I got some looks. (the good kind)
Not that it matters.
That’s right! You rocked it.
LOL
Okay, the rest of the post aside….Bakon Vodka….really? Mental note to stock up if you ever make it north of the border!! (And real bacon, of course.)
Bacon vodka to go with my bacon lipgloss!
And Baconlube! Which is none of my business, but nevertheless a real product!
I am a great person to have around in an emergency… which you will find out when you start reading you kinow what again… however, I am horrible to have around for the day to day stuff… so… nature, it gives with one hand and takes with the other.
I forget what you know what is named. And I’ll read it.
nothintonobody
and thanks…shhhhh…
My husband is much like you, extremely cool and calm under pressure. In fact, it’s a bit scary. He says it’s like getting punched in the face. It forces you to focus. Me on the other hand, when it comes to someone else, I’m ok, but when it involves me, I’m a bit frazzled. it’s not my strong point. BUT…..I’m better than I used to be.
I think maybe I sort of become someone else when I’m dealing with my own crises.
Like batman?
No, like … I mean, yeah, like Batman!
Awesome!
It’s cuz your cool like dat. MmmHmm.
Like what? A cu… A cube of ice?
And by “your” I meant “you’re”
Sigh.
I mean, PSY.
Open Comment Style!
PS I’m surprised you haven’t mention this or maybe you have…
http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20111229231032/bacon/images/c/c1/Bacon_ice.jpg&imgrefurl=http://bacon.wikia.com/wiki/Bacon_Ice_Cream&h=300&w=249&sz=29&tbnid=KZb3s_USpGGOVM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=75&zoom=1&usg=__Q78pmsHj2nE1RYuhiVLsvk44fLk=&docid=q9swXsaUR6sbuM&sa=X&ei=98H4UO_DMdDW2wXmioHQBg&ved=0CEsQ9QEwAg&dur=618
I’ve done a whole post on Baconlube. And one on other bacon products.
http://edwardhotspur.wordpress.com/2012/12/21/baconlube-2/
Were you cool as a cucumber when you were Freshly Pressed? Did your heart race a little bit? Did you fry up some bacon?
I was cool. It wasn’t stressful, though. It was the opposite… lufsserts.
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Me too, because life throws me so many lemons I can open my own lemon stand…
Life has other fruits, I think
I am very cool in a crisis, due to all my volunteer firefighter training. But I would never compare myself to a cucumber – I HATE cucumbers! I generally fall apart a little after the crisis is over when I come down from my adrenaline high. Having a heart attack, cut off your finger? Call me – I can take blood & everything.
The response time from you to me might be a little long, but okay. Though if I’ve cut off my finger, you won’t have to ‘take’ blood, because I’ll be freely giving it.
I know how to stop that too!