I can’t stand melodrama. So many people want to take situations and just make them way more dramatic than they are. But I never, and I mean NEVER, do that, ever, ever, ever. And I would never ever ever do that. There isn’t enough time in my extremely busy day to even bother with the loads of melodrama that other horrible and idiotic people create. They are the WORST. I mean, this one chick just kept crying and crying over and over and over, and she wouldn’t stop until she cried an entire river, and I’m like, whatever, like THAT’S never happened to anyone else. Can you believe her? And her outfit was the worst outfit I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I wish someone had pointed out to her that yellow tights and a purple top with a tiger print belt is absolutely a fashion DISASTER! Like Dis. As. Ter.
And then there’s this guy who thinks he’s all that, but he’s such a huge loser. He’s always strutting around like he’s better than everyone else, with his hair and his tie. What an incredible douche! It’s not like he deserves that great parking space just because he gets here early. And that lady who asked me where I worked, and I’m like, are you stupid? I work right here! Some people can’t even pay attention because they are so absorbed with their own problems. Like the guy who won’t give me a computer, and the woman who can’t hook up my account, and that other guy who hasn’t even been in to take me around to all the places I need to go. Hello, I need all that stuff! But no, these people are so melodramatic that they have to do other things, they’re so busy, blah blah blah. Hook up my stuff and I’ll be fifty times busier than you! Puh. Lease.
So anyway, I hate melodrama, and people who make a huge deal out of nothing and who think they are the only ones with problems. My problems are so much worse. Why don’t these selfish people realize that?
Edward Hotspur
…OMG! WTGB!
Note: I originally posted this in October 2011. But, like, don’t have a cow, man.
Oh puh-LEEZE!
What. Everrrrrrrrrrrrr
Ha! I remember this!
My God, I need a life…
You have a life. It just needs more fun in it. So click here:
http://ragecaptions.com
Melodrama is bad. Drama is bad. What we need is Mellowdrama.
Or Dramamine
A mine where you can dig up drama?
Exactly. In West Virginia.
Well it would be, wouldn’t it.
Mountain mama.
Oh, yeah.
Finally, a blog where you keep yourself under control, and don’t just run on and on, ranting and raving, and…..
Fer sher?
You’re so Valley Girl!
Totally tubular!
Wow when you were talking about the loser who thinks he’s all that I thought you were talkin’ about the Clown and then I saw “tie” and was all, oh, nevermind. And quit bitching, that’s like so melodramatic. Which I never do, especially not on my blog.
The who?
Le Clown?
You read that and thought of him? Amazeballs.
It must be because he is literally EVERYWHERE. He sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake, etc.
That’s all I got to say about that.
But you like my melodrama right? I mean I cry some amazing rivers…the clean clear kind you can swim in.
So far, I haven’t seen any melodrama from you. But my scale starts later. Maybe it’s because you’re never sad around me?
I’m never around you lol. Actually I am pretty amazing I just like to pretend to be melodramatic. Whoa is me…as I faint with a wrist on my forehead!
I meant, you know, “around” me blogospherically. But OMG pretending to be melodramatic is literally the most awesome thing I have ever seen in my entire life! I’m never ever going to be sad again because of this incredibly awesomesauce phenomenon!
You are so melodramatic
Your words burn like the heat of a thousand suns, melting the ice of my frozen soul, boiling it away to vapor. I die! I die. *dies*
You leave me scorched and drowning in the fire of your desire……as always! You should text that to her
I might, and put ‘body’ instead of ‘words’ to secks it up.
Hey- since you just died, can Hasty and I have your blog?
Would you really want it? It’s apparently not for everyone, demented and sad, written by an arrogant condescending (though loveable) asshole. It’s tainted and desecrated, and reviled by .00001% of the WP blogosphere.
I may be overselling it.
WTGB? Want to go bitching? What the gorilla bear? I must know what this means Edward.
What The Gummi Bear.
There was a reader who vapored called Becoming Bitter, with whom I apparently had a sensei/kohai relationship. She called me Flower Sensei, and I called her Kirigirisu (Grasshopper). She didn’t swear, so instead of saying WTF, we used WTGB. Not to say she was all Pollyanna – she once wrote a 10-part story in which I was an 82 year old man who she killed for grabbing her ass, among many people she killed for various reasons. As I recall, it was a Christmas story.
That sounds like a beautiful affair. It kind of makes me want to start killing people in my blog posts now too.
You know, yeah, it does seem appealing.
I thought WTGB meant Way to Go Bitch!
Well, it does now!
Hilarious!