I Don’t Want To Be Here Anymore
These pictures and things
You left behind
Spinning so endlessly
Through my mind
All these things surround me
Trying to forget
I haven’t quite gotten used
To you leaving yet
I don’t want to be here anymore
I don’t want this
I don’t want to be here anymore
Shake so hard
Crying violently
I took it so hard
When you decided to leave
I can’t bring myself
To throw them away
To throw you away
To throw it all away
I don’t want to be here anymore
I don’t want this
I don’t want to be here anymore
So I drink my wine
And think of times we spent
I dream my dreams of
When you were heaven sent
I offered you my life
Nothing more, nothing less
But the worst possible thing
Turned out to be for the best
The places we’d go
All the things we’d see
They all led to something
That wasn’t meant to be
Now I’m all alone
In the place we shared
And I’ll always wonder
If you ever cared
I don’t want to be here anymore
I don’t want this
I don’t want to be here anymore
Edward Hotspur
I am sad now.
I’m sorry, except to the extent that I’m happy you got the feeling I was trying to convey.
Don’t be sorry then
I’m sorry about not being sorry. I never meant to hurt you much.
Ah yes. You have captured my twenties perfectly in 100 words. Thank god for my thirties. (Never thought I would have said *that.*)
I am sorry to hear that. But, it did make you the person you are today, so it can’t be that bad.
Oh no, don’t be sorry. It was a compliment. I spent a lot of time going down dead-end streets and then just sitting there crying into my wineglass when I reached the end of a particular line. But then I bought a map to avoid the dead ends, and a sledgehammer in case I needed to bust down some walls, and a compass in case I needed to turn around so I would always know where I stood, and a lantern so I would never be alone in the dark again. So no… it’s not that bad at all. Life is beautiful.
Who would have thought that those were the tools of a good relationship?
I know right? But if we’re talking tools to a good relationship, add duct tape to the list.
I hear you. If silence is golden, how come duct tape is silver?
bwah-ha-ha-ha. one of life’s great mysteries.
Very moving. Thank you for exposing yourself and sharing with the rest of us.
“Be strong and do as you will. The swords of others will set you your limits.”
Page 9 – Tribesmen of Gor
I just got depressed all over again. It is beautifully sad.
Don’t get depressed. Just think about how wonderful your relationship is compared to the person in the poem.
Well now I’m sad….
are you the person in this poem?
Damn, Hotspur, it’s hard to mock you when you bare your soul like that…
I’m so sensitive. Be gentle. Don’t toy with my emotions, or something.
I don’t want to spoil anything, but in my dating history, which I barely remember by the way, I was usually the one to do the dumping. Consequently, none of my relationships ever lasted longer than a year, if that. Except this one, which has dragged on for 16 years plus. Probably because of “laundry”.
You’re funny – I will be gentle
That’s good. I’m so fragile and junk.
I can tell. Especially the “and junk”
So cruel to kick a man when he’s down.
Me? The anti-Lemony Snicket kick a man when he’s down? NEVER.. I’d only ever kick you if it had some sort of comedic reprocussions…
So, yes. You rip out my heart, and stomp on it. That’s so mean. You have wrinkles.
Oh Hotspurt – only if it was funny. I probably do have wrinkles..
Funny ones.
Funny looking people have funny looking wrinkles, what can I say?
Oh, whatever, dork. You know you’re not funny looking.
How do you know what I look like?
Sigh.
My IT programmer often responds to me just that way…
You’re a robot?
Yes, couldn’t you tell?
He’s the programmer at my job – I love IT people.
You’re an IT girl. It’s because they know how to push your buttons.
I’m a total IT wanna-be geek…I just did an interview for my grad school’s mentor program explaining my geekness…it was rather fun!
Go on YouTube and look up Computer Camp Love by Datarock. You’ll love it.
oh wait – you’re on my FB -
Yeah. That.
Hee hee…I’m vexing and exasperating at times.
That an approximation of what I was going to say
It’s part of my charm.
You are charming fer sher
oh yeah.
So you’re Kool-Aid Man?
um…
I’m really Rosie from the Jetsons
Here come the Jetsons. 1, 2, 3. – Paul Rodgers
I thought it was “Here comes the warm jets….” Brian Eno
No. It wasn’t.
Huh….
Oh, Ed, sometimes I just want to hold you on my lap in an old-timey porch swing and rock you till you fall asleep like a baby.
That is more than a little disturbing.
Only if I try to change your diaper…
Okay, reaching new levels of creepy.
I am just getting started.
That’s okay – I like to come from behind.
You always have to one-up me… even in the creepy department.
I’ll one up you in your creepy department.
woo hoo.
This is quite lovely even though it kind of makes me want to pop open a vein. But that’s what good poems do.
Thank you, ma’am. Glad to know I’m not writing in vein.
It felt odd to “like” this, but I do.
Thanks, Hellis. It’s never odd to like this.