Hi. I hope you had a good time while visiting my blog. I love your business, and I’d like you to keep coming back again and again. And again. I was wondering if you could just answer a few questions about it.
1) Do you think I post too much?
2) Is there anything you would like me to post about?
3) Was your table clean?
4) Is the decor attractive, appealing, gorgeous or merely fantastic?
5) Should I post more pictures of women in bikinis, men in bikinis, bikinis on mannequins, bikinis hanging on the rack, or impressionist paintings featuring French landscapes and tiny woodland creatures in the foreground?
6) What about love? Don’t you want someone to care about you?
7) If one train leaves Boston at 2pm traveling west at 80mph, and another leaves Chicago at 4pm traveling east at 60mph, do you find yourself wondering “who the fuck still rides a train?” Please answer on a scale of 1-10.
8) Is this very post with its absurd take on self-reflection and almost plaintive pining for yesteryear indicative of the very quality about my blog that you find endearing?
9) Or what?
10) If I were to change the theme of my blog, what would you prefer, given your almost doctoral thesis-like research into and study of my likes and dislikes?
11) Did you skip a few questions and miss the one with the link to nude pictures of your favorite bloggers?
12) Which parts of my blog do you most want to emulate? Of course you’re allowed to mention more than one!
13) Did you know that I love, respect and appreciate each and every one of you, even the assholes?
14) It’s true. Please answer with a color between soft and loud.
15) This list is getting long – don’t you think?
Your answers will be tallied, and a formulation will be opinionated, after which the results will be tabulated, and then I’ll let you know what you said, collectively.