This individual who has some kind of BLAHg has decided to nag two followers into challenging me and two of MY followers to a duel. I have decided to accept this challenge. His name? Le Clown. The name of his blog? Well, that’s tricky. My opponent seems to find spelling his own name correctly a challenge , let alone dueling with another blogger. Isn’t it ‘Clown ON Fire’, sir, not ‘Clown OF Fire’? Mais, oui! Certainement! Qu’est-ce que c’est? (Translation: what is this that this is the fuck are you talking about?)
His definition of my name is also incorrect. ‘Hotspur’ means, among many wonderful things, both ‘a fiery person’ and from Middle English ‘a person whose spurs are hot from constant riding’ – which will certainly be the case after I have constantly ridden that clown a la victoire.
His choice of icons to represent his team is spot-on. His team is entirely and appropriately represented by fictitious cartoon characters, which is fitting since his blog is written at a fourth grade level. His choice of icon to represent me (a dog with no hind legs) is equally fitting – he seems to be suggesting that I will beat him without the use of half my limbs. Having said that, I think this may be a much more appropriate icon for Le Clown:
I will allow my astute and clever readers to draw their own conclusions.
As for his choice of icons for my teammates, there is no accounting for French tastes in terms of what they find attractive, and French-Canadians are no different. If you ever wondered why the Nordiques moved to Colorado and changed their name, this may serve as Exhibit A. For Le Clown, the Fleur de Lis will become the Fleur de Lose. Would you like to see what Fleurs de Win look like? Voila!
His only consolation seems to be that his heart will go on – but not ‘on the road’, as Jack Kerouac’s parents wisely fled Quebec for Massachusetts before he was born.
I think it only fair to report that Le Clown has been known to publicly beat and harass children. Here is a photo of him doing just that:
His chosen teammates are:
*A woman (Speaker7) who is an expert on butt plugs, and who is so cold and emotionless that she keeps everything bottled up inside her (I am assuming she does this WITH said butt plugs).
*Another woman (Madame Weebles) who prefers animals to people (read: prefers dogs to clowns) and is a self-proclaimed historian, which will come in handy after her side is history.
So, Monsieur Floppy Feet, I accept your challenge. And after my team is finished with you, you will be reduced to this:
My team consists of two individuals who have given me at least as good as I have given them.
*The lovely and talented GingerSnaap! She has talked about her ADHD, but she won’t need all her attention for this battle!
*Our own adventuring blogger and champion, El Guapo! His wave of awesome will completely douse this clownfire.
SO HOW DOES THIS WORK?
Each team will compete by writing a post around a topic chosen by our readers. There will be 3 topics, and 2 bloggers facing-off on each topic. The winning posts will be determined by the amount of likes they will get. Bloggers from each team can only write one time during the duel. The competition will begin September 19, which should leave plenty of time for the competing teams to strategize, and for Team Clown Flamer to write their blog entries in both English and French while listening to Celine Dion.
Please suggest your topics in the comment section below, or on Clown’s blog or any of our respective team members’ blogs. Please do not suggest topics that wouldn’t be easily understood by both sides or may be controversial for someone, such as politics or (in Clown’s case) bathing. You can vote for your favorite topics by mentioning your preference in comments! The 3 comments that get the most votes will be selected as the winning topics. You have until Monday, end of day, to suggest your topics and vote.
En garde, Clown Brulee!
UPDATE: This duel was fairly civil, but Baboon Le Clown committed a tactical rookie mistake by insulting everyone else on this page, including his own team members, by implying that his comments were le fin du monde:
“You certainly could [delete all my posts]. At least this comment thread would look once again like your other threads: empty.”
At this point, I would call this contest a three-on-four battle, as he seems to have added his huge ego to his team.