
Update 16 Sep 2012: There’s a whole WORLD of Blogger Idol across the blogosphere. I auditioned for this illustrious campaign, and I was one of the first ones so I thought it would have… that it might not be… okay, that not that many people would participate. 12 slots, plus an added 13th wild card slot.
Anyway, right now there are about 135 or so auditions, and the blogosphere is LIGHTING UP! I think a massive tweet, blog and Facebook comment campaign might be in order! Go to http://www.facebook.com/bloggeridol and vote for me, advocate for me, proselytize for me! Preach the word, brothers and sisters! And thanks. Oh, and do Guapowitz and Kimberliah too.
I am now a contestant for the “make it to Bloggywood” portion of Blogger Idol! And this post is pretty much my audition. So vote for me, or my next post will be a nude of Richard Simmons. No, Richard Belzer. No, Richard Cheney. No, Carrottop.
This was what I said:
Edward Hotspur is a world-famous author and witticist. The world just doesn’t know it yet. He is also a multiple-award-winning blogger and a published author! True. He loves sarcasm, cynicism, wittiness, one-liners, awful puns, music, cooking and left-handed salads. He adores referring to himself in the third person. He had no help whatsoever writing this audition.
At this for just over a year, Hotspur already has 845 blog posts of widely varying subject matter, sights, sounds, and smells if you’ve been eating Taco Bell! He loves to take you down a dark path, and then make a sudden left turn into surrealism. He will dispense both wisdom and poop jokes, and he will talk about both Uranus and his love of caulk.
He has been known to punch you in the face with one post, and then hold you all night long with another. He will wine you, dine you, and then wine you again. His blog will please all of the people some of the time, or even slightly more than some of the time! It has photography both serious and silly, from nature to local attractions to the infamous Unicorn Pissing Rainbow. It has serious and silly poetry, serious and silly stories, music videos and opinion, a daily log of his trip to work, and several recurring characters like Granite Countertop, PI, the all-female crew of the Starship Innerthighs, and his ever-popular and ever-controversial advice series, Highly Confident Guy. He will also share his love of The Greene and Japanese visual kei music with you.
People have found him in a multitude of ways using a multitude of search terms, including Lesbian Elves, Panda Lasers, Sauron Panties and Sadness. Which he has multiple posts about. And of course, a blog isn’t complete without spam, and he has more than his fair share – but he isn’t afraid to eviscerate those spammers in multiple posts as well!
There is something for literally everyone on his blog, and if you don’t like what’s there today, just wait until later today! But that’s not all – very often, he and his blogosphere pals keep the party going down in the comments section, and if you don’t read every last one, you might be missing half the fun.
If you’re wondering why he is speaking in third person, it’s simply because there isn’t a ‘tenth person’ point of view he can write in – because when you read Edward Hotspur’s blog, you’ll swear that it was written by ten different people.
But it’s just the many wonderful facets of Edward Hotspur.
Thank you.
So get out there and vote for me, assuming I actually make it to the finals. It’s so odd that I’m entering this, because my next post, with any luck, will be me singing Don’t Gotta Work It Out by Fitz and the Tantrums.
And here it is!
Now check out all the judges and their sites HERE!
Edward Hotspur
If you post that picture of Dick Cheney and his… other dick, I shall cease to have any respect for you whatsoever.
Punch in the face/hold you all night thing… loving it!
Sauron panties? Really?
Good toss out to your commentor homies…
I thought you were the tenth person point of view.
Is that wonderful facets, or wonderful faucets???
I am not a registered voter…
Dude, the comments are half the post, as far as I’m concerned. Sometimes they are the most entertaining part. Sometimes they aren’t, but they’re still entertaining.
But all my main blogosphereans get muchus loveus from meus.
I do what I can. For example, those last two comments I made were freekin’ hilarious. They will not show up here, I guess, but I hope you and others who stumble through your older posts will enjoy them.
Why not will showing up here not be?
Oh… me bethoughteth that verily wouldst they not for my penchant for parlaying under the banner of other posts that thou did’st perchance to dream.
Right.
Righty tighty, tighty whitey
Tighty losery, lefty graziano
Lefty loosey, silly goosey.
I wanna see the nude of carrot top. Totally not voting!
At first I read that as ‘totally not vomiting’, and I thought ‘if you looked at Carrot Top nude, how is that even possible?’
Of course I’ll vote for you! Please don’t post those pics.
We are about 10-11 minutes away from hearing a mediocre version of yours truly singing Don’t Gotta Work It Out acapella in a shaky video on YouTube. And hitting most of the notes.
I know. I saw. Loved it.
You’re too kind
Hey Man love the post where can I vote for you ?
Click on Blogger Idol, but I am not sure voting is open yet. It’s still in the ‘You’re goin’ to Hollywood, baby!” phase.
And thanks.
Did you post the video yet? DID YOU??
Good audition! If both you and Guap are in the finals, it will be epic!
I just posted it. You’re gonna laugh. Laugh out loud for days.
So you rewrote all 800+ of boring bible commentary just so you could enter this contest?
A valiant effort, but I hear some bar top dancing, hawaiian shirt wearing, adventure loving super cool blogger is gonna lock up the whole thing.
Nice try though…
Whoever she is, she sounds desperate. But hey, some women will do anything for recognition.
She is I…. Thanks fellas!
You’re welcome. One of us should win.
Ooooo-oh-OH! Blogger fight, BLOGGER FIGHT!
Lemme get my popcorn before you continue! I’m so glad I mentioned this little contest today-yay me!
And you’re entering it too, of course. And you’re also putting up a singing video. Of YOU singing, that is.
Even better, she can line her kids up like a mupp-a-phone, and make them sing!
We’ll sing “Ma na Ma Na”!
You mean THIS?
Yeah- we’re going to make our debut video at the public pool- that’s what all the cool kids are doing!
By whacking them on their heads like a human xylophone!
No, I’m not auditioning and you can’t make me.
As for the video. we shall see…
Why not? Bawk bawk?
OH! How DARE you try to cluck me over like that! And in front of all these people,too!
This just in:
“Our sources tell us that GingerSnaap, who had recently announced her leave of absence from Blog Land due to very dramatic and personal reasons, has decided to temporarily return to virtual world with the sole purpose of WINNING Blogger Idol 2012.”
Hmph.
I look good in 1st place.
Wow, that worked better than I thought. I am the puppet master. Seriously, if you have personal reasons, I understand.
I meant to say ‘dramatic and personal’ because Ginger is very dramatic, silly.
I already told hubs I was gonna do it which pissed him off so that’s an even better reason to audition! And also because I will win.
“Odd”ition. I for one welcome you. This Blogger Idol competition needs its own Kelly Pickler.
Aww- and you will be the William Hung who sings backup for Kelly Pickler.
And you will…
Actually, that was pretty good. I’m proud of you.
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Well I can’t enter for sure – after 44 years of smoking the only thing I can sing is “Can I Have This Dance” by Anne Murray our own Canadian songbird & I really don’t think anyone would want to hear this! Post a link where you want us to vote & I’ll vote for you – I loved your car singing & always look forward to your blogs (except for 80% of the poetry). Isn’t that better – I used to hate 100% of your poetry. You’ve gained 20%!
Wow! I’ve managed to get you to like one in five? Click on ‘Blogger Idol’ for the site. I don’t think you can vote yet, but some awesome people have left some flattering comments.
You forgot modest, you silly man.
I am unbelievably modest! I’m one of the most humble people on earth.
Ok, I didn’t get to your audition yet, but you get bonus points from this judge
845 posts? 845 posts! Hanging my head in shame now.
It’s 854 now.
You just had to rub it in, huh? I’m only kidding
No! Not at all – quantity doesn’t mean quality. I mean, in my case I have both, of course, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that.
Either way it shows perseverance and dedication. That in itself is impressive.
I think it’s more like WordPress is my version of TweetLonger.
Sorry, I appear to be crapping all over your compliment. I will stop at once, and just say thank you very much.
I endorse this..you…hotspur
You made that sound like an accusation!
I accuse hotspur…you…this
Should I wear a scarlet A-HOLE now?
I have a picture of me wearing one. Too bad I can’t post pictures in a reply!
But a link you can post
It’s on FB under Halloween. Black corset with a Red A. I was Emma Stone in Easy A for that Halloween
I will look…. I believe Roy Orbison said it best in Pretty Woman when he said “Rowrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr”, or something substantially similar but spelled correctly.
Stupid onomatopoeia.
HASTYWORDS deeply appreciates your silly humor and your love of all things off the wall.
Thank you! Can you say that on Twitter, Facebook, and in a letter to the press? lol
Just clean up that typo in Hotspur. Should read E-L G-U-A-P-O
He’s right. It’s spelled E-L-G-U-A-N-O, alright.
Nonono, that’s my cousin. He doesn’t have a blog.
I knew there was a resemblance. No, wish us both well. At this point, m y mindset has shifted to ‘our blogosphere vs the world”
Dang…yes…except I have been sworn off twitter, facebook, instagram….as a condition of my marriage.
but i would if i could and i should so i….might.
Only two reasons for that – either you did it too much, or too, um… deeply.
Glad you can still do WP or we’d never have met. Or not ‘met’ exactly, but read each others’… you know what I mean.
I love when you talk about reading me….I mean…I love having ‘met’ your…ummm yea you know what i mean. I didn’t do it too much but I was easy access and lots of people demanded my time….and I have a problem with saying no
I read you loud and clear. I hope time is all you have a problem with saying…. I read your words and they make me wonder about you.
Hey, what happened in that dream?
And on Blogger Idol’s site?
I could maybe be woooooed into it.
I want to be promoted by you, just you and as many other people as I can along with you, I want to be promoted by you alone.
Boop boop be doop.
Ummm I will consider!
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