A while back, Rejected Olympic Events was trending on Twitter, and I came up with the following suggestions:
Helium Balloon Toss
Freestyle Party Rocking
100 Meter Dine and Dash
200 Meter Threesome
Men’s and Women’s Water Sports
Tubthumping
Women’s 100 Minute Breast Stroke
Naked Crisco Twister
Synchronized Swearing
Men’s Synchronized Cross-Dressing
Streetwalking
Men’s Downhill Brazilian
Underwater Pants Off Dance Off
Equestrian Waldo Spotting
Waitlisting
Table Dancing
100 Meter Chili Cookoff
Couples Synchronized Bitching
Horseback Plumbing
Interior Decorating
Wrestling With Your Sexuality
Women’s 10K Hitchhiking
100 Meter Synchronized Stamp Collecting
Beefeating
Javelin Catching
Parallel Parking
Men’s Synchronized Muff Diving
Synchronized Hokey Pokey
Parallel Bar-Hopping
Uneven Haircutting
200 Meter Dougie
Men’s Post Office
100 Meter Coin Toss
Olympic Race Rioting
Pole Vault Dancing
Hot Dog Eating
Women’s Synchronized Drunk Texting
Underwater Horseback Riding
Edward Hotspur
An Olympic gymnast walks into a bar.
She is docked two points, and loses any realistic chance of a medal.
Don’t forget the Macarena dance off.
The Harlem Shuffle
Much better!
The Time Warp.
I would definitely not medal in the parallel parking event…I would do okay in the synchronized swearing, though…
You’d get the gold for Canadia!
Naked Crisco Twister has merit.
Unless you use too much.
Left hand: Red
Right leg: Broken!
Don’t they already do the breast stroke… oh… I see whewre you are going with that… Is it just me, or is there an extra leg in that funny walk picture?
There’s someone hiding behind someone else who is sillywalking.
I hate it when that happens. Now I need to do funny pictures of the olympics again. Since my numbers are dropping and my book seems to be a big hit with a very small group.
Not true! It’s a big hit with a lot of people. They’re just shy, that’s all.
I tried telling myself that… but people just want to see atheletes being mauled by tigers… sob…
One of my biggest posts is a bunch of pictures of unicorns pissing rainbows, crapping rainbows, puking kittens, etc. And I didn’t even take any of those pictures. So don’t worry about it.
I worry about everything, Ed… that is what makes me special.
That’s not it.
Is it the helmet and the short bus?
I didn’t know buses wore helmets.
This one does. Mr. Smarty Pants…
And a cup?
And a sports bra.
Bar
No. an authentic western saloon…
Saloon, or salon?
Both. It is the fancy short party bus!
Beach basketball
Oiled pig catching
Backyard fencing
Running From The Cops
Have to look up that tag. Lots of gold there I’m thinking.
100 m bus dash
Weightlosing
Gator wrestling
Still a chance of the race riot before summer’s end!
No way
East London!