It’s been hot and dry here for so long, that the one day it did rain only made it humid. Here’s some things that have happened as a result, both here and around the country.
The large inflatable pool we had exploded. It has three rings, and two or more of them are messed up.it won’t hold air or water… thinking of just inflating it with water. We had a backup. Also holey. So, sprinkler.
The electric bill was the highest I’ve ever had in my 82 years. Entirely from running the AC. So I signed up for one of the other companies who generate electricity. 2 cents per kilowatt hour lower. Wish I had done that 6 weeks ago. Would have saved me dozens of dollars.
The one storm we did have knocked out the phone. I know this because I tested all the jacks in the house, and even went out to the ‘telephone network interface box’. Apparently, if you open that, inside is a phone jack that your whole house is plugged into. You unplug that and plug in a wired phone. If the phone doesn’t work, it’s the wires that lead into the house, otherwise known as Not Your Problem. If it does, then it’s your house, and you’re screwed. Guess which one it was?
Wrong. It was the wire to the house. But while I was thinking about calling the phone company, which rhymes with ‘hay tea and tea’, I debated with my wife over whether we should just cancel the phone entirely. Telemarketers and politicians’ robots make up 95% of the calls anyway. Then my wife told me the phone has actually been out for a month. I did not know that. So, bye bye, phone. We’ll just use our cells.
Oklahoma apparently burst into flames and turned to ash. So be careful out there if you live in a neighboring state. If you don’t know whether you live in a neighboring state, look at a map, and get to know our country, for pete’s sake (Pete Best, if you must know) – you’re the reason people from other countries think Americans are stupid. And you have wrinkles, and broke up the Beatles, and created Nickelback.
In Phoenix, I am told, it’s pleasant. Only 100 degrees, and a fair amount of rain. Yes, rain. In Phoenix. Phoenix is getting rain – Ohio, not so much. Black is white. Up is down. Side is… other side.
Plants are no bueno. I haven’t done much landscaping this summer, because if grass is brown, what chance do the other plants have? I could water them all, sure – but see the electric bill above, and see the temperature above. It’s hot. And once it cools off, I got a lot of work to do. But for now, sorry plants, I need AC.
That concludes this edition of bitching about the weather and its effects. Thank you.