It’s been hot and dry here for so long, that the one day it did rain only made it humid. Here’s some things that have happened as a result, both here and around the country.
The large inflatable pool we had exploded. It has three rings, and two or more of them are messed up.it won’t hold air or water… thinking of just inflating it with water. We had a backup. Also holey. So, sprinkler.
The electric bill was the highest I’ve ever had in my 82 years. Entirely from running the AC. So I signed up for one of the other companies who generate electricity. 2 cents per kilowatt hour lower. Wish I had done that 6 weeks ago. Would have saved me dozens of dollars.
The one storm we did have knocked out the phone. I know this because I tested all the jacks in the house, and even went out to the ‘telephone network interface box’. Apparently, if you open that, inside is a phone jack that your whole house is plugged into. You unplug that and plug in a wired phone. If the phone doesn’t work, it’s the wires that lead into the house, otherwise known as Not Your Problem. If it does, then it’s your house, and you’re screwed. Guess which one it was?
Wrong. It was the wire to the house. But while I was thinking about calling the phone company, which rhymes with ‘hay tea and tea’, I debated with my wife over whether we should just cancel the phone entirely. Telemarketers and politicians’ robots make up 95% of the calls anyway. Then my wife told me the phone has actually been out for a month. I did not know that. So, bye bye, phone. We’ll just use our cells.
Oklahoma apparently burst into flames and turned to ash. So be careful out there if you live in a neighboring state. If you don’t know whether you live in a neighboring state, look at a map, and get to know our country, for pete’s sake (Pete Best, if you must know) – you’re the reason people from other countries think Americans are stupid. And you have wrinkles, and broke up the Beatles, and created Nickelback.
In Phoenix, I am told, it’s pleasant. Only 100 degrees, and a fair amount of rain. Yes, rain. In Phoenix. Phoenix is getting rain – Ohio, not so much. Black is white. Up is down. Side is… other side.
Plants are no bueno. I haven’t done much landscaping this summer, because if grass is brown, what chance do the other plants have? I could water them all, sure – but see the electric bill above, and see the temperature above. It’s hot. And once it cools off, I got a lot of work to do. But for now, sorry plants, I need AC.
That concludes this edition of bitching about the weather and its effects. Thank you.
Edward Hotspur
You’ll see a similar version of this blog post come out of New Hampshire this coming winter. Expect Kayjai to laugh at me.
How do you know she isn’t already! lol.
The title of this post is from an At The Drive In song, but I couldn’t remember which one at first and I was on my phone. But here it is:
Good riddance to the phone! (And how telling that you’d been without for a month before realizing it…)
Well I knew it didn’t work, just not how long it had been
Ed, you are just a hotty.
With a naughty body
You need a hot toddy, your reputation is a little spotty. Like John Gotti. Noe go potty. And don’t be snotty.
Your accusations are knotty, like doing one pilate while eating manicotti in a Maserati.
We’re been getting strange amounts of rain here in the deserts of Southern California too…. It’s still hot as crap, though…. with hot crappy rain.
It wouldn’t be so hot if Adele would stop setting fire to it.
Oh well…hot rain is better than no rain. But Peter Gabriel’s Red Rain is better than Blind Melon’s No Rain.
Wow. You have sun and heat. We have sun and some warm temperatures…it’s lukewarm. One hot day was Saturday. We’ve had little rain though so I sympathize with the drought. Our grass is turning brown as well. We don’t have AC here…doesn’t get hot enough. As for H.E….Hell ya, I’ll be laughin’!! Winter is coming, winter is coming…Boo!
But your winters must be a bitch, huh?
Yeah, usually lasting well into May. March is always a rough one with snow storm after snow storm. Hoping this year will be a bit better…we always hope for that!
Trade you! AC the Earth!
82 years? What’s with this?
A side of fries and your choice of soft drink.