The Chick-Fil-A Situation

PMAO opened a can of worms over at his eponymously titled blog, though not eponymously abbreviated. That’s overstating it. It’s not a can of worms. It’s something that needs to be talked about. And I’m taking it a little further.

The Chick-Fil-A Situation.

Dan Cathy, CEO, expressed himself as being against gay marriage AS the CEO, not as a citizen. And tons of in my opinion misguided folks are going out and getting sandwiches all of a sudden, many hypocritically. Some are claiming that the backlash is wrong, because Mr. Cathy is just expressing himself. Great! Right?

Let’s take a look at all the arguments being made, and then I’ll take a crack at demolishing them. It’s more or less easier do to, because in many cases one can just substitute ‘homosexual’ for ‘interracial’ in the demolition of all the stupid arguments against interracial marriage.

1. It’s against God’s laws.
Show me where in the Bible it says anything about forbidding gay marriage. Oh, wait, before you waste your time with that, show me where in the Constitution it says anything about laws being based on one religion – or any religion. Also, hold your breath while you search, for an extra challenge.

Sure, some might cite Leviticus 18:22 “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind; it is abomination.”  But let’s look at that for a second.
A) Who does ‘thou’ refer to here? Just men? Because if it refers to everyone, then lesbian sex is the only sort of sex that’s okay, because men can’t lie with men, and women also can’t lie with men.
B) Read one way, it could be suggesting a difference, not forbidding an act. Compare that with “Thou shalt not cook steak as chicken. It is an abomination.” See? It’s not saying you can’t cook steak or that you can’t cook chicken – just that you should cook them differently. Maybe you should lie with different genders differently?
C) And back to that pesky fact that America is not a theology. Also, that there is more than one religious text.

And finally, there are all sorts of ‘God’s laws’ in the Bible that are broken all the time. I could cherry pick the Bible for verses that support slavery, rape, and imprisoning women during their periods, as well as condemning adultery, fornication, shrimp, working on Sunday (or Saturday, or Friday, or whatever day some religion has chosen), or going to church if  you have to wear glasses, or cutting the hair around your temples, or playing football with a pigskin ball, or planting two different crops in one field.

But no one seems to be clamoring for laws about that stuff. The utter lack of laws banning adultery or clamoring for same is highly notable, in my opinion. And the biggest glaring omission in any religious argument against gay marriage based on Christianity? Christ said absolutely nothing about same sex marriage whatsoever. Sorry, people, your founder had nothing against it, so you can’t really use Christianity as the basis for your argument, even if it WASN’T prohibited by the Constitution. (Sure, that’s on the federal level, but the logic holds up nonetheless.)

You know, people have to really dig to even find references to homosexuals, and then simultaneously cherry pick and twist the passages to even get them to remotely come close to what they claim. And even then, absolutely none of it refers to gay marriage whatsoever. However, what IS forbidden?

I think it’s fair to say that the highest of “God’s laws” would be the Ten Commandments. One of the commandments is about remembering the Sabbath, which is usually done by not working. By this definition, all presidents, cabinet members, members of Congress and their staffs, firemen, Fox broadcasters, newspaper people, police, emergency people, FBI, CIA, sports teams and staff, store, hospital staff and all branches of the military, among many others, are going straight to hell!

And I wonder what Sarah and Todd Palin, recent Chick-Fil-A customers, think about the fact that their own daughter broke another commandment about not committing adultery? Surely if I were to open a restaurant and checked everyone’s marital status in terms of sex and/or children, even if I claimed it was God’s Laws ™, the two of them, along with millions of others, would claim I was trying to stuff my morality down everyone’s throat. But… isn’t it the same god, and the same laws? Not to mention all the people who say gay marriage is against God’s laws and will ruin the sanctity of marriage, while on their second or third spouses?

How did murderers and thieves squeak by? Both directly forbidden by a commandment, but they are allowed to marry? In fact, let’s set up a scenario. Twins are born and raised, and later become adults. One of them rapes children, kills nuns, commits mass murder in a theater, blows up a federal building, shoots up a high school, takes hostages and eats some of them, and cheats on his taxes. The other one is upstanding in every reasonably measurable way – but is gay. Why is the first guy allowed to marry, while the second one isn’t? Does that even make logical sense?

Bottom line – America isn’t a theocracy.

2. If we allow gays to marry, what’s next? People can marry their pets?
Ah, the slippery slope argument. No, moron, people won’t be allowed to marry their pets. And marrying pets is illegal for EVERYONE, so it’s a fair law. In fact, pedophilia, polygamy, polyandry, etc. etc. are all illegal for everyone, so they are also fair. They’re totally different issues. THIS issue is about letting some people do something and prohibiting other people who differ in just one aspect from doing the same.

Besides, we can make such ridiculous arguments about anything, can’t we?
If we move the speed limit from 65 to 70, what’s next? People driving jet cars down the freeway?
If we allow beer to be legal, what’s next? People snorting window cleaner at a local McDonalds?
If we raise taxes on the rich, what’s next? Chain-ganging 3 years olds who have to break rocks all day?
If we don’t put a fence on the border, what’s next? I have to invite Hitler to stay in my guest room?
If we can’t smoke in public, what’s next? Not being able to urinate in public?

3. Gay couples might want to adopt, and those kids will be completely and totally screwed up for life.
Sigh. I’ll let Zach Wahls answer that one.

I’ll close with this observation: Yes, Dan Cathy is free to express himself as he sees fit. It’s a free country, and freedom of expression is what makes this country great. However, that right extends to everyone in the country, so Mr. Cathy shouldn’t be surprised that other people are now expressing themselves as THEY see fit.

Edward Hotspur

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