I’m talking now. I just happen to have this on, you know, in case I wanted to say anything.
For example, my pants are still wrinkled. I ironed them, and they’re still wrinkled. Sometimes when you try to iron, you just can’t get all the wrinkles. There are diminishing returns on continuing to iron them. Also, don’t forget to take them off before you iron them! Very important.
I just yawned really bigly. I think instead of talking and talking and trying to force things out of my mouth, I’ll just have this thing on, and record things if I happen to think of them. That’s two completely different things. Seriously. When I get enough stuff together, I’ll post it. Like a special Scenes or something. It’s no big deal. I’ll probably start doing these things again eventually. It had become kind of cumbersome – gah! I just ran over the curb while I said that – but I just needed to take a break.
The really fun thing is my passenger side mirror. I got this car from “a relative”, and she backed out of the garage one day and tore off the mirror. The wires are still attached, but the rest of it is completely separate. So, it’s been held on with electrical tape. But when it started getting colder, the tape lost its stickiness, and the mirror dangled. I retaped it, but it will dangle again soon. I’m so lucky! I’m thinking of sprinkling some Viagra dust on the mirror to see if it will stay up. And I will NOT be calling a doctor if it goes past 4 hours. I want it to go that long. I can adjust the angle of the mirror from inside the car, but I can’t find the right angle for viewing when it’s dangling at the side of the car. I was thinking of trying to bolt it on. “Someone” said that would look funny, but I pointed out it would still look better than tape. “Someone else” asked what would happen if someone tried to roll the window down, since it’s taped to the window. Well, “fortunately”, that window doesn’t work! Thanks for asking, “someone else”!
I’m finally starting to get my weight back down to where it was before Christmas. It’s funny how a little temporary bulimia can cause you to lose so much weight! I’m just kidding. I would never do that. Though it’s true that if you touch your uvula for 12 seconds, you’ll lose a pound! Don’t try this at home. Go somewhere else, you idiot!
My wife’s so beautiful. Much better, more manageable. Shiny. Nice. Sweet. Our anniversary is soon, and it will be 16 years. That’s a long time. Our marriage could get a driver’s license! And it probably will. Anyone else have a marriage? If you’ve never had one, they’re pretty cool. Tricky to take care of, and they require a lot of attention, but you can let them outside every so often and they won’t go in the house. They’re fun to pet. My wife, I kiss her with mouth!
I remember a long time ago (1992) I said to my friend that we should steal his brother’s girlfriend. He wouldn’t do it, so I thought nothing more of it. But I was at the peak of my “powers”, and even though she had been dating my friend’s brother for a couple of years, she broke up with him that night and started dating me. And she was…very beautiful. Pretty. Also good looking. Attractive, fair, pulchritudinous. Easy on the eyes. So what was she like as a person? Um…. anyway, this was February, right after Valentine’s Day. And one day, she came over and we sat outside in shorts. Because for whatever reason, it was in the 70s. In February. In Ohio. A fluke. Not unheard of, but pretty rare. Well, today, it’s going to be close to 60 degrees. I’m not converting that to Celsius. Sorry, Kayjai! Well, okay, I’ll try. 60 degrees Fahrenheit is like 23 Decagrams in metric. Okay? Anyway, to this day, unseasonably warm weather always reminds me of the time I called a girl like Babe Ruth called a hit, but unlike Babe Ruth, I did not hit a home run. Because the game was called on account of her being a shallow immature child.
Someone is watching me talk into this thing. I don’t care. Anyway, maybe the warm weather will make the tape stick better. It feels like it’s going to be a good day today. I hope it is. Got our new entertainment center all refinished for the TV that wouldn’t fit on the current entertainment center. and eventually I’ll do a headboard, since we have the tools for it. It’s mystery zone time. I’ll keep the spirits up to a maximum.
Honda Ridgeline in front of me. It looks like someone took a van and made the third row into a truck bed. Weird. But it has a Motorhead sticker in the back window. Out on the road today I saw a Motorhead sticker on a Ridgeline. A little voice inside my head said everything’s fine, yeah, everything’s fine. Thought I knew what love was – what did I note? Those days are gone forever. I should just buy a goat.