My brain isn’t working right now because I’m disappointed. When I’m disappointed in something, all I can think about is that thing I’m disappointed in and nothing else. What should I have done, how could I have made it better, what can I do in the future? The thing I’m disappointed in amounts to a disruption in schedule which also disrupts my life a little.
All that is making me very cranky. So I should do something…what’s my wheelhouse? Is it ranting? Immaturity? Absurdity and ridiculousness? Is there such a thing as too far? I’ll tell you this much – I know that eventually I’m gonna be dull, and boring, and I’m not gonna be funny, and I’m going to pick a fight with someone, and I’m going to say something offensive. Sometimes I just do that intentionally, and get it over with. I know it’s going to happen, and I don’t want to worry about it. So I just write the stupid column, and pick the stupid fight, and whatever. I picked a fight with someone a few weeks ago. She had gotten the Versatile Blogger award, but she decided not to pass it on and called it a stupid chain letter. What a jerk! It kind of does have chain letter qualities about it, but not passing it on at the same time you boast about having gotten it is incredibly ungrateful. On top of that, this same person bitched about what it took to get on Freshly Pressed – countdown lists, etc. – while using countdown lists, etc. in the same blog. I contemplated whether to even mention it, because I don’t know if I want to pick that fight, but someone this ungrateful and self-defeating is too easy a target. It’s hilarious. First of all, one way to get on Freshly Pressed is to be liked. So dismissing someone’s award is like getting a gift and throwing it away. It’s kind of a crappy thing to do, and that was in the back of my mind when I read the second thing. It was self-defeating and hypocritical. “I hate all these things in blogs on Freshly Pressed, but I’m going to put them in mine and hope somebody puts me on there, hee hee.”
I wonder sometimes how some of you got to be the way you are, and to the places each of you are right now. I’d be interested in knowing what makes you tick, and how you think. Of course, that would mean revealing to you how I think, what my background is, where I came from, and other deep and personal things about myself, and I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet. Yes I do – I’m not.
That reminds me of three things, like dominos. Hypothetical questions that, once answered, reveal something about yourself. The first one might work better if you have or have been in a dysfunctional relationship (or maybe not), but it might be fun to think about. If you had/have a significant other, and someone invented a device that, when hooked up, allowed you to know what that person was thinking, what their memories were, what things they’ve done in their past, good or bad, what things they’ve done to you or for you, good or bad, what they’ve thought about you or said about you, good or bad – would you use the device? Of course, the price of using this device is that the person you’re using it with gets to know all the above things I just listed about you at the same time. Would you hook it up and turn it on? If that was confusing, then let me boil the question down: Is your desire to know someone else’s secrets more or less important than your desire to protect your own? It doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve done anything bad – you could just feel strongly about the principle that everyone deserves a certain amount of privacy, and even though the machine exists, it doesn’t mean you should use it. Guns exist, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to grab one and start shooting people.
The second one might be more challenging. I’ll try to make it work across countries. Would you rather never be allowed to leave your state, province or territory for the rest of your life, or never be allowed in your country for the rest of your life? Really challenging if you have to pick one or the other. I think most of you would probably pick your state, territory or province. In some cases it wouldn’t be that hard – like if you lived in California, I don’t think it would be hard to choose to never leave California for the rest of your life, compared to never being allowed inside the United States. What if you live in Kansas, or Ohio, or New Hampshire? This question basically amounts to: would you prefer stability, or new and different experiences? Or maybe ‘would you prefer being the big fish in a small pond, or being worldly?’ Think of movies or books that are adventures. When you watch the movie or read the book, you always travel around with the person who moves the most. There’s always two kinds of people – the traveler, who has to know a little about many different things at opportune times, and the informer, who knows everything about one thing, or a few things. Take Harry Potter. Harry wanders all over the place, while Dumbledore pretty much stays at the school, and Hagrid pretty much stays in his house. Lord of the Rings – Bombadil, Saruman, Elrond, Galadriel, etc. , they’re all people that the heroes visit, or who have something they need or know something they need to know. But the hobbits, humans, elves and dwarves, they travel all over the place. Think about all that, and ask yourself: which one of these people are you? Right now, I’m doing a lot of hanging out in one place and getting quizzed about things by other people. It wasn’t necessarily what I planned on being, but nonetheless.
The third one I might have said before. Superpower – flight or invisibility? It boils down to: do you want to act overtly, or covertly?
I’ve let all this philosophy distract me from my depression temporarily. Also distracting me are the emergency vehicles. Anyway, here are those questions again:
- Is your desire to know someone else’s secrets more or less important than your desire to protect your own?
- Would you prefer stability, or new and different experiences?
- Would you rather act overtly, or covertly?
I’d answer: Less important, stability, covertly. I’ll let someone else tell me what that means about me.
…hopefully not that I’m bizarrely insane, or want to shop at the Gap…